Hope for the Caregiver – Chapter Eight

Sometimes We Feel No One Cares

When dealing with a chronic illness, there are times when we feel no one understands or cares. There is hope. We are not alone.

Jesus cares. In fact, he shares sympathy with you. Jesus knows you. He shares the feelings you have. He is in tune with you. God empathizes with you.

My Story

When my late wife Miss Benita was diagnosed with Melanoma Cancer I knew it was bigger than she or I could handle. We would need lots of help, prayers, and support. 

I immediately started a secret Facebook Group named “Benita’s Family & Friends.” I invited family, friends, church members, coworkers, and acquaintances to join. This included friends from high school and college days. It included her former boyfriends.

I had no doubt Miss Benita’s fight was cancer was more than we could handle, but not too big for God. I also knew from my working with social media at the day job regularly updated content was needed to keep people engaged with the social media.

The first posting was on the day of her first surgery. I made a daily entry for one thousand and one days. That is how long she lived. 

As I wrote the daily update and prayer I could feel her life passing away like sand slipping through an hourglass. We shared prayer requests with our church and Bible fellowship class. We shared them with coworkers. My day job had a chaplain’s department. They regularly ministered to us.  I never felt like God had forsaken us. However, many days I felt very alone. 

Miss Benita was very private and very caring. Because of my having had heart and stroke issues over the last thirty-six years she and our children had worked to protect me from stressful situations for years. This choice to care more about me than herself early in her illness had me at times feeling alone and excluded. 

All I knew to do was pray. and read my Bible. I read the Bible verse John 11:35 one morning. It simply says, “Jesus wept.” It was a good reminder for me that no matter what, Jesus cared, Jesus was aware, and He empathized with me. 

Amazingly in the last few weeks, Miss Benita told me that even with the Melanoma Cancer, she always felt she would outlive me. She did a great job of sharing her thoughts, concerns (she had almost none), trust in God, and let me help in almost every aspect of the last two and one-half years of her battle. 

She told me she never felt alone. She knew I was there for and would be with her until death did we part. She also felt God’s loving presence and the prayers lifted on her behalf. I thanked her for sharing her life with me and she thanked me for loving her and her parents and siblings unconditionally. 

The Bible Says

John 11:35 (KJV), “Jesus wept.”

The Meaning of the Bible Verse

God empathizes with you.

Pray Using the Bible Verse

  1. Heavenly Father, thank you for paying attention to our hurts and cares.
  2. Lord Jesus, as today’s verse says, “Jesus wept.” Thank you for caring enough to cry with us and to comfort us.
  3. God, help us as your word teaches in 1 Peter 5:7 (KJV), “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

Applying the Verse to Receive God’s Hope for the Caregiver

  1. Are there times when you feel lonely as you care for your loved one? It is okay to feel this way. Remember God is here for you all the time. Talk to Him and let Him know how you feel.
  2. Do you have a support network? Many churches offer support groups for caregivers. Consider joining one.
  3. Are you reading your Bible and praying on a regular basis?  You don’t need special training or a theological education to do this. It can be as simple as reading a chapter of your Bible a day. I suggest reading a Psalm or Proverb to start. When you are lonely or struggling simply tell God. An example is to pray, “God, this is so hard. Help me make it through cleaning the potty chair or calling another doctor office to deal with a billing issue.” 

Photo Source: Pixabay

Author: Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

Jimmie Aaron Kepler is a full-time writer. He was born in San Antonio, Texas, to a career military father and stay at home mother. He lived in six states and attended eight different schools before graduating high school. He earned a Bachelor of Arts in History with minors in English and Military Science from The University of Texas at Arlington, Master of Arts and Master of Religious Education degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, as well as the Doctor of Education degree. Before writing full-time, he worked as a US Army officer for 10-years, religious educator for 18-years, and as an IT software application engineer for over 20-years. He is a widower. He lives in North Texas with his cat Lacey.

3 thoughts on “Hope for the Caregiver – Chapter Eight”

  1. I was a caregiver for my sister before she died of leukemia. I was only her caregiver for a short time, but I can imagine it really would get lonely (even with all the support from the church that we received) if I had done it for a long time. I’m glad you’re writing about this, and I’m sorry for your loss!

    1. Thank you. My wife was diagnoised with neuroendocrine carcinoid cancer in 12/2013. She was then diagnoised with Melanoma cancer in 6/2015. The surgical oncologist said if somehow she survived the Melanoma the neuroendocrine carcinoid would still kill her. During this time she was ill I was the primary caregiver for my father who passed away in 6/2017. I also was the primary caregiver for my mother from 2006 until she had a kidney transpant in 3/2011. She lived after the transplant from 3/2011until 12/2014 where I was a caregiver. I also preached my mother and father’s funerals and did my wife’s gravesdie service. During the time of caring for my wife and parents I developed two autoimmune diseases, oral lichen planus a​n​d coilit​us. The doctors feel both had the stress of being a caregiver as a contributing factor.

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