Month: April 2019

Do Not Lose Heart

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Devotions, Hope, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler, Memoir, PrayersLeave a comment

13 Do Not Lose Heart

13.1 My Story

My wife was excited when the eleven months of taking the prescription chemotherapy medications ended.

I was expecting her to do a happy dance and to go celebrating her accomplishment. Instead of a time of rejoicing, it became a solemn watershed. She was tired of the handful of pills she took multiple times a day.

“Jimmie, I will never do chemo again. I know you’ll support my decision,” she said with the authority and resolve of a military general ordering troops into battle.

I looked at her. I’m sure she saw the fear, the disappointment, the lack of understanding in my face. I knew better than to question her decision. Her mind was made up. Questioning her decision would bring her to tears. Challenging her choice would breach my commitment to her.

I prayed for God to give me wisdom before I replied. I heard myself say, “You have decided never to do chemo again. You request me to support your decision. Is that correct?”

“Don’t be so clinical. Please, do not treat me like you did the children when they were young,” she demanded.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I was just restating what you said to make sure I heard you correctly.”

“You heard me. Our body isn’t made to take these terrible treatments. You can’t imagine how horrible they are.”

I just looked at her and listened as she continued talking.

“I’m not saying I want to die today. I don’t want to die. However, I know that I have an eternity with Jesus Christ in Heaven waiting at the end of this dreadful journey. No pain, no suffering, a new body, a grand family reunion with my family and your mother (at the time of the conversation my mother was deceased, my dad would live another three months). It’s only because of the final destination that I can continue with this adventure as you like to call it with Melanoma. Living with cancer is hard. It’s terrible. I pray you and the children never experience it.”

13.2 Not Losing Heart

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness is not losing heart. Your maintaining a positive attitude helps you to provide the best care. An optimistic view helps to maintain our outlook from an eternal perspective.

In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 verse, God is pointing out we should view all earthly adversity in comparison with our future heavenly glory. When we do this, we should be strengthened to endure our human trials.

13.3 Bible Verse

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (KJV), “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

13.4 What the Verse Means

While our bodies (outward man) grow old and suffer from diseases, our spiritual side (inward man) is renewed daily. Too often we only focus on the things we see in this present life. We need to also focus on the spiritual, that is the things that are not seen but given to us by God as a future promise. 

Seeing with “spiritual eyes” takes belief. A part of faith is believing that what God has promised he will undoubtedly bring to pass. I have confidence in God’s word and promises.

13.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father help me to focus on you, our loved one’s final destination and never lose heart.
  • Lord Jesus, help me remember that while my loved one’s outer body is perishing, yet their inward body is being renewed daily.
  • God, I realize the chronic illness my loved one is facing won’t last forever but is working in them and me a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.
  • Lord God help me to not look at my loved one’s circumstances which are temporary but to look on the things that are not now seen, but eternal.

13.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Lord Jesus, help me have the courage to see my loved one’s situation from their point of view.
  2. God in Heaven help me to support their choices.
  3.  Father help me to listen to my loved on.

Photo Source: Image by dalnimi oh from Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  found in the far left column of the blog.

Your Health

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12 Your Health

12.1 My Story

Following my wife’s diagnosis with Melanoma cancer, I scheduled an appointment with the same doctor to get myself checked from head to toe. I needed to stay in good health to care for my sweetie.

The doctor looked at every blemish, mole, and age spots on my body. She even removed a few skin tags. We scheduled a follow-up appointment in six months.

At the follow-up appointment, I mentioned I had seen my dentist who referred me to an oral surgeon. The oral surgeon had biopsied a spot in my mouth. The inflamed area wasn’t cancerous. It was oral lichen planus. He told me to speak to you, my dermatologist, for follow-up treatment.

Oral lichen planus (see footnote 1). (OLP) is a chronic inflammatory disease that affects the mucus membrane of the oral cavity. It is a T-cell mediated autoimmune disease in which the cytotoxic CD8+ T cells trigger apoptosis of the basal cells of the oral epithelium.

The dermatologist told me she knew I was under excessive stress with Miss Benita’s cancer treatment. I shared the added responsibility I was under from caring for my 89 years old father. Life circumstances also didn’t help as my long-term day job had just completed a significant reduction in force and reorganization. I was still employed and experiencing the stress of the changes requiring doing more with less.

Just days before Miss Benita went into hospice care I was diagnosed with another autoimmune disease, Irritable Bowel Disease (see footnote 2). The gastro endocrinologist said while there is no known cause, he was assuming since I had the oral lichen planus and that I was under excessive stress with Miss Benita’s cancer treatment and care responsibilities that stress was a major contributing factor.

My point is the stress of caregiving may impact you physically. I do not give medical advice. This blog is not intended as medical advice. If you are having health issues see your physician for medical advice.

For you to provide the best care for your loved one, you need to also care for yourself. I saw the physicians. They helped me to keep on keeping on and continue to be a caregiver for my spouse.

12.2 Real Prosperity is in the Lord Jesus Christ

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic or terminal illness realizes our real prosperity is in the Lord Jesus Christ. Today’s passage speaks about our mental health and general well-being.

12.3 Bible Verse

3 John 1:2 (KJV), “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”

12.4 What the Verse Means

John, the author of the Bible verse, is addressing Gaius. Prosperity here is mental health and general well-being. John wants Gaius to prosper and have good health equal to his spiritual health.

12.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father I pray that I may prosper, that is to be healthy fiscally. Why? Not to be rich but to care for my family and pay my medical bills.
  • Lord Jesus, I pray that I would be in physically good health and that health would mirror our spiritual health.
  • I pray for rest and peace of mind.

12.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Do you have any medical concerns about yourself? If so, seek medical attention as soon as possible.
  2. Are you getting adequate sleep? If not, talk to your health care professional for advice.
  3. Are you eating properly? See the advice of your health care professional if you have questions.

Footnotes:
 1 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3329692/
 2 https://medlineplus.gov/irritablebowelsyndrome.html

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  found in the far left column of the blog.

 

Trust

Posted in Bible Verse, Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Christian Love, Devotions, Encouragement, Faith, God, God the Father, God the Holy Spirit, God the Son, Hope, Inspirational, Inspire, J Kepler, J. Aaron Kepler, JA Kepler, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler, Love, Memoir, Motivation, Peace, Prayer, Prayers, Texas, Verse2 Comments
Benita Kepler with the Atlantic Ocean behind her on Thursday, August 11, 2016. The location is Rye North Beach, New Hampshire. She is wearing her signature smile as well as compression lymphedema sleeve and gauntlet (glove). I always told her the gauntlet (glove) made her look like a rock star referencing Madonna’s fingerless glove look from the 1980s.

11 Trust

11.1 My Story

In August of 2016, my wife Benita and I took a lengthy “bucket list” trip. In our forty plus years of marriage, she had never been to the northeastern USA. She had heard stories from my early teens when I lived in New England as a military brat. She also had never been to New York or the middle Atlantic states.

The trip wasn’t easy. Even with her Melanoma cancer her employer initially said no to her being off work for multiple weeks. My day job also lacked compassion. We both found the situation frustrating as we had more days of vacation accrued than needed for the trip. Finally, both employers agreed to let us off work.

The trip required a small refrigerator for the car as her chemotherapy prescription meds required refrigeration. The bulky lymphedema therapy machine had to be loaded and loaded each day along with scheduling time for her to do an hour’s therapy per day.

Many day’s it would be as later as 10 AM before we were able to get checked out of our hotel. Most days we were checked into the hotel by 5 PM in the evening. When you drive those few hours in a day it takes a long time to drive the over 2,200 miles from Dallas, Texas to Northern Maine.

Out lengthy trip included stops at places like Niagara Falls, NY, Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Factory just outside of Burlington, Vermont. We visited university campuses like Dartmouth, Harvard, MIT, Bowdoin College, Brown, Yale, Virginia Military Institute and their libraries. Miss Benita saw where I attended junior high school in Portsmouth, New Hampshire and the famous Philips Exeter Academy. She saw the Atlantic Ocean for her first time. The State of Liberty and NYC and Philadelphia were on the bucket list as well. We also went to Gettysburg, the Hershey Chocolate Factory, and all the Washington, DC sites. 

We skipped the National Football League Hall of Fame, Major League Baseball Hall of Fame, Basketball Hall of Fame, as well as the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She said I could go back to those places after she was gone as she had no interest.

The trip was hard for her. She was so glad we made it. She told me she appreciated my patience. She knew I was up hours before her. I sat patiently while she slept and rested. I also sat reading when she did the lymphedema therapy. She had the TV remote in the hotel.

I got very tired of hauling the luggage, medicines, and medical equipment into and out of the hotels. I admit that. I couldn’t trust the bellhop at the hotels to treat the medical equipment with the tender loving care it needed. The only time I entrusted the equipment to one I found disconnected hoses and a power cable that had fallen off and was in the middle of the hallway.

The entire bucket list trip was an adventure in trusting God. What if we had trouble with her chemo meds while 2,500 miles from home? We did and God cut through the red tape to take care of it.

My attitude, trust in God, and love for my wife somehow allowed me to navigate the journey he had for my loved one and me. He’ll do the same for you.

11.2 Trusting God

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic or terminal illness is trusting God. When dealing with a protracted disease sometimes it is tough to maintain focus or have peace of mind.

The person battling the ailment often finds themselves dwelling on what is happening to them physically, fiscally, and thinking if they’ll even have a future. It can be hard.

As a caregiver you may feel like all you do is manage schedules and provide taxi services. You find yourself longing for the good old days before the illness took over your life.

Today’s verse gives us hope as it tells us peace of mind is available. The way to peace is to focus on God, not your problem. It is to trust God.

11.3 Bible Verse

Isaiah 26:3 (KJV), “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”

11.4 What the Verse Means

The key word is trust. We have a requirement to trust God. Trusting in God, that is when our mind is focused on Him, not our troubles, allows us to be kept in God’s perfect peace.

11.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father help me to keep my mind steadfast on you.
  • Thank you for the peace of mind that can only come from God.
  • Lord Jesus, help me to take my refuge in you.
  • God, I know you are my only hope in battling my chronic illness.

11.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Name one area where you need to let go and trust God.
  2. Are you thanking God daily for guiding you through the daily challenges? If not, do so now and every day.
  3. Are you truly trusting God? Ask God to help your unbelief and lack of trust in and for all things.

Photo Source: Taken by Jimmie Aaron Kepler on Thursday, August 11, 2016, at 2:38 pm. The photo location was Rye North Beach, New Hampshire. The Atlantic Ocean is behind her. I can still recall the broad smile and wide eyes when she saw the Atlantic Ocean. The response was unusual for her as she preferred the mountains over the beach and had said no many times to a beach vacation.

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  found in the far left column of the blog.

Going Out to Eat

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Going Out to Eat

Sweetheart, do you have a preference on where we go out to eat?
…..No. Anywhere you want is ok with me, dear.
Great. There’s a McDonald’s. They have a senior coffee discount.
…..Oh, but look! There’s a Subway. I think that would be better.
OK. Subway it is. I’ll let you off at the door and then park the car.

Do you see anything on the menu you prefer?
…..No. Anything you want is OK with me, dear. We can share a foot-long sub.
Great. How about a foot-long Italian meatball sub?
…..Oh, but the Black Forest ham … I think that would be better.

OK. Make it a foot-long Black Forest ham on wheat bread, please.
…..Oh, get whatever you want, dear, but white bread …
Ma’am, can you change that to white bread, please. And American cheese.
…..Dear, pepper jack … I think that would be better.
OK, make it pepper jack cheese.

We’d like lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions, green peppers, banana peppers, jalapenos …
…..Anything you want, is OK with me, dear, but maybe not the tomatoes and pickles.
Ma’am, hold the tomatoes and pickles, please.
…..What if we skipped all the peppers and just got black olives?
OK. Make it black olives and mayonnaise instead of green peppers, banana peppers, jalapenos.
…..Maybe you should go with light mayo. Remember your waistline.
Yes, dear. Ma’am, we’ll take light mayo instead, please.

“Sir, do you want to make that a combo with chips and drink?”
Sure, that sounds–
…..Dear, we’ve got water and apple slices in the car. No need to splurge, but …
OK. Just the sub, not the combo.

That was a very good lunch.
…..Yes. Thank you for taking me out to eat. Aren’t you glad I let you have whatever you wanted?

And I recalled the words of the Apostle Paul,
…..Love is patient, love is kind.

Jimmie Aaron Kepler
Written in Estes Park, Colorado
May 2013

“Going Out to Eat” was originally published in vox poetic in print and electronic form. The electronic version can be accessed at: Kepler, Jimmie A. “Going Out to Eat,” vox poetica, January 27, 2014, Retrieved January 27, 2014, from http://voxpoetica.com/eat/.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

When I read the first draft of this poem to my late wife, I was shocked at how visibly upset it made her.

“You’re making fun of me and telling the whole world!” she said.

I was taken aback by her comment.

“I don’t understand,” I said with honesty.

“That’s what I did at the Subway Resturant at Amarillo,” she said. She didn’t smile. She only lowered her head.

It was apparent the memory was fresh on her mind.

“It’s a composite of so many of the older couples we see at restaurants. It seems the wife frequently tells the husband to order what he wants. As he orders, she tweaks the order to what she wanted,” I said.

Again, she did not smile. She rolled her eyes.

“It’s not about you,” I said attempting to reassure her.

“It’s about me. Everyone will know it’s about me.”

“But it isn’t about you. Even if it were, who do you know that reads poetry?”

“So you admit you wrote it about me.”

“Sweetie, it’s a composite of so many of the older couples we see at restaurants,” I said trying to reassure her.

“And you’re going to submit it for publication?”

“Only with your permission. I don’t want it to upset you.”

“So it’s my fault if you don’t submit the poem?”

This time I rolled my eyes.

She glared at me for a minute and then sat silent for another five minutes. Finally, she started laughing and said, “I guess if I’m honest wives do that to their husbands. Go ahead and submit your silly poem.  No one publishes poetry these days.”

I submitted it. It was accepted for publication. And no, it wasn’t about Miss Benita. It really is a composite of so many of the older couples I’ve seen at restaurants. It seems the wife frequently tells the husband to order what he wants. As he orders, she tweaks the order to what she wanted and then hands him a coupon to use.

The Power of God’s Word

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Devotions, Hope, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler, Memoir, Prayers5 Comments

10 The Power of God’s Word

10.1 My Story

I was always amazed at the child-like faith my wife showed in the Lord Jesus Christ. Her faith reminded me of a bumper sticker frequently seen in the late 1960s and early 1970s. It just stated, “God said it, I believe it, and that settles it.”

As she confronted cancer, she regularly would quote Job 14:5-7 King James Version (KJV), “Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass; Turn from him, that he may rest, till he shall accomplish, as an hireling, his day.”

She would comment that yes; she was getting the recommended treatment the medical team suggested. She knew they were part of the healing team and God’s plan.

Then she would add, “You know, God has my days numbered. He knew from the beginning of time when I was going to be born. He also knows when he is calling me home.

She saw no need to worry about doing this or that to try to squeeze an extra day of life. She knew her Heavenly Father already had it all worked out.

I pray my faith in God could demonstrate an equal trust in God.

10.2 Thy Word

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness understands the power of God’s Word. Today’s verse is a reminder of the power and guidance of God’s word, the Holy Bible. Psalm 119:105 (KJV) helps explain part of the purpose of God’s word. It reads, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

10.3 Bible Verse

Jeremiah 15:16 (KJV), “Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.”

10.4 What the Verse Means

The verse reflects Jeremiah’s call to the office of prophet. He had not sought or expected to be a prophet. Likewise, God calls us to follow him as Believers of Jesus Christ.

As Jeremiah mentions eating the words of God, he is expressing the close relationship between him and God that comes from reading, hearing, and consuming the word of God.

Jeremiah concludes in the passage telling us that he is called by God’s name. It is a reminder that God set him apart and ordained him to be a prophet. Likewise, as a Believer in Jesus Christ, God has selected you and you as Jeremiah did have responded to God’s selection of you.

10.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father thank you for the Bible, your word.
  • Lord God, help me listen to, meditate, and memorize your Word, and let it sustains me.
  • Your Word brings joy to my heart.
  • Lord Jesus, that you for selecting me.

10.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Are you trusting God for your tomorrows?
  2. Are you reading and applying the Bible to your everyday living?
  3. Have you considered offering to read the Bible to your loved one? You can just ask, “Is okay for me to share a short Bible passage that really spoke to me?”

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  ound in the far left column of the blog.

Peace

Posted in Bible Verse, Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Devotions, God, God the Father, God the Holy Spirit, God the Son, Hope, Inspirational, Inspire, J Kepler, J. Aaron Kepler, JA Kepler, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler, Love, Memoir, Peace, Prayer, Prayers, VerseLeave a comment

9 Peace

9.1 My Story

I thought I was Superman. I believed I could handle anything that would come my way in caring for my wife as she battled Melanoma cancer.

I was wrong.

Over Mother’s Day Weekend in May 2016, my wife started an eleven-month treatment with prescription chemotherapy medications. In less than twenty-four hours of taking her first dosage, her temperature was 104-degrees. She was disoriented, non-communicative, and near death. I was scared and felt helpless.

All three of my children were home for the Mother’s Day Weekend. My wife’s two sisters had flown in from out of state to visit. They had good reason to come.

My wife’s PET Scan in late April had shown Melanoma had spread. It was in her left shoulder, lungs, between her lungs, in her Thyroid, neck, pelvic area, right thigh, and in almost every area of the body except the brain. The oncologist said my wife would have weeks to months to live without chemotherapy prescription medications.

My wife reluctantly agreed to the chemotherapy meds. Within hours of taking them, she wished she hadn’t. She was sure death would be better than dealing with the sickness she was now experiencing.

I remembered the managing oncologist’s instructions as she started the medications. He had said she might experience elevated temperature. Her temperature of 104-degrees plus wasn’t elevated; it was extreme. He also said nausea was common. Her nausea was endless vomiting. I was told to call the doctor first before taking her to an emergency room at the hospital or calling 911 if she experienced these side-effects.

I called the doctor. He gave detailed instructions. I felt like I was now a critical care registered nurse. I felt overwhelmed, incompetent, scared, and responsible for my wife. He had me make sure she stayed hydrated. We stopped the chemo meds for a few days. We adjusted the dosages and their administration.

During this time my wife’s oldest sister’s faith in God, calm demeanor and trust in my caring for her sister guided me through the valley of the shadow of death I knew my wife was walking through. Somehow my bride’s body adjusted to the meds. They were miracle drugs.

Within six weeks, the PET Scan showed no traces of the Melanoma. Cancer stayed in remission from then until December 7, 2017, when the diagnosis of a brain tumor changed everything. My wife never had Melanoma recur anywhere except in the head. Unfortunately, the prescription chemo meds could not cross the barrier into the brain.

During the process with the chemotherapy prescription medications, I saw an amazing peace descend on both my wife and me. Yes, it was a God thing. But it also was a family thing. Having sister’s in law that prayed and believed was a blessing. My children’s belief in my ability to care for their mother also helped.

God’s giving me peace of mind and an ability to keep on keeping on was the key. God is faithful. I can testify that I cried out to God and He was there to walk with me through caring for my wife.

9.2 Real Peace Comes from God

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness understands that real peace comes from God. Living to care for a person with a chronic disease can leave us overwhelmed.

The endless stream of questions from well-meaning family, friends, acquaintances, and coworkers drains us. We find ourselves emotionally and physically exhausted. At times we need more than rest. We need peace.

As we learn to care for a person with a chronic illness, we realize that real peace comes from God.

9.3 Bible Verse

John 14:27 (KJV), “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

9.4 What the Verse Means

The verse uses the Jewish form of greeting and blessing. Indeed, the hearers understand this wish for peace. Jesus wishes them the same serenity of soul as he experiences. He leaves this availability of this peace with them. 

Jesus lets them know his words are not idle or meaningless. He means what he says. His words are true.

Because his words are factual, we should not fear the future. No matter how difficult the challenges are that you face, stand firm. Remember Jesus paid the price for your comfort, salvation, and redemption.

9.5 Prayer Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father thank you for the gift of peace.
  • Lord, I pray my heart would not be troubled.
  • I pray I would not fear as I continue the battle against the chronic illness.

9.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Have you asked God for peace of mind? Why not ask now?
  2. Have you turned your fears over to the Lord? He’s listening even now. I encourage you to start listing them. God will hear you.
  3. Being afraid is normal. Thank God for giving you the ability to feel and care.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

Time

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Devotions, Hope, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler, Memoir, PrayersLeave a comment

8 Time

8.1 My Story

“How long …”

I asked the question doctors dread to hear. How long will my wife live? I spoke those words to the physician when my mother had her kidney transplant. I repeated the words when my wife had Melanoma surgery and had thirty-four lymph nodes removed because the disease had spread into them. Yes, I also said those two words when I took my ninety-years old father to the emergency room and found out he had suffered a major heart attack.

With my spouse, I remember the oncologist giving the five-year survival rate odds which were very depressing. She emphasized enjoying the now. She strongly emphasized if cancer recurred it would be terminal.

Less than six months later the Melanoma returned. My wife lived another two years and two months after the recurrence. She survived nearly two years longer than what we were told to expect.

I worked hard to make each day she lived a positive experience. I also took her on a multi-week “bucket list” trip where we had quality time together.

The trip was challenging as I had to get a refrigerator for our car for her prescription chemotherapy medications. Daily, I also had to pack and unpack a bulky lymphedema therapy machine. She had to sit for an hour every day hooked to the machine to control swelling in her left arm, wrist, and hand.

My point is we made good use of the time available. I made sure she saw her sisters multiple times. I made sure our grown children were engaged in her life.

God was gracious and gave her 1001 days from the first surgery. He also gave me the patience and desire to serve her.

The hope we both had through Jesus Christ allowed us to face each day with hope.

8.2 Use the Time God Has Given You

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness is learning to use the time God has given to us. The Bible teaches that God has the days of our lives numbered. Here are five examples:

  1. Job 14:5 King James Version (KJV), “Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass;”
  2. Job 21:21 (KJV), “For what does he care for his household after him, When the number of his months is cut off?
  3. Psalm 31:15 (KJV), “My times are in Your hand; Deliver me from the hand of my enemies and from those who persecute me.”
  4. Psalm 139:16 (KJV), “Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.”
  5. Ecclesiastes 3:2 (KJV), “A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.”

8.3 Bible Verse

Psalm 39:4 (KJV), “Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is: that I may know how frail I am.”

8.4 What the Verse Means

The verse shares thoughts concerning the psalmist meditations on human life. He reflects on life’s brevity, life’s vanity, and life’s sorrows.

He wonders why life was so short. Why was it so vain? Why was it so full of pain?

8.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Father in heaven, thank you for reminding me of how brief my time on earth will be. Help me to use the days I have to the fullest.
  • Lord Jesus, thank you for reminding me that my days are numbered. Help me to trust that you know what is best for me.
  • God, help me remember how fleeting my life is and to live my days to your honor and your glory.

8.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. 1. Are you helping your loved live their remaining days to the fullest? What can you do today to make today a good day for your loved one?
  2. 2. What can you do to encourage friends and family to engage with your chronically or terminally ill loved one?
  3. 3. Make sure you include rest in the management of your one’s time. What can you do today to make sure they take time to rest?

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  ound in the far left column of the blog.

Laughter

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Devotions, Hope, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler, Memoir, PrayersLeave a comment

7 Laughter

7.1 My Story

First, there is nothing funny about a spouse having a chronic or terminal illness. There certainly isn’t anything funny about caring for a loved one and all the nuisances involved with the daily routine.

Over the years I had heard time and time again that opposites attract. My experience would agree with the statement. Many times I have been told I am the least spontaneous person alive.

Maybe my living my life structured like a German railroad schedule or the fact I grew up in a career military family and then was a US Army officer helped influence me in this arena. My wife enjoyed the structure of routine but also loved the unexpected blessings of life. Where I needed a to-do list and schedule for my day and had my day disrupted with change, she embraced the unexpected.

I also am a very stoic person. Again, being a military officer affected me in this area. I believe nearly twenty-years of full-time ministry also had me being the rock of stability in difficult situations. I was the steady influence, the calm in the storm for so many. It allowed me to officiate funerals of children, friends, coworkers, my parents, and my mother-in-law with a dignified seriousness that my wife sometimes hated and caused others to refer to me as a robot-man.

I remember the surgical oncologist kindly encouraging me to lighten up. She said my serious all the time attitude was contagious. My constant seriousness was gloomy and the wrong attitude for my wife to catch. 

The doctor added attitude is crucial when dealing with a chronic illness like my wife’s cancer. The cheerfulness of mind does good like a medicine for the body. Our attitude contributes to the restoration or preservation of bodily health and vigor.

Medical science tells us the red blood cells, most white blood cells, and platelets are produced in the bone marrow, the soft fatty tissue inside bone cavities. Proverbs 17:22 (KJV) teaches, “A poor spirit/attitude ‘drieth the bones’ which produce the needed cells.”

The doctor encouraged me to watch romantic comedies, funny situation comedies, and even some comedy specials with my wife. She said they would get us both laughing. It would help me to lighten my mood. It would help with my wife’s healing.

The medical doctor even questioned if my spirit was broken and if I was totally given over to my wife’s death to cancer. She said it was too early to give up hope. She said those with a more positive attitude live longer. Her little talk helped me recalibrate my thinking and adjust my attitude. Maybe that small change contributed to my spouse’s living almost two years longer than first anticipated. Only God knows if it did.

We can learn a lot if we read our Bible.

7.2 Learning to Laugh

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness is learning to laugh.

7.3 Bible Verse

Proverbs 17:22 (KJV), “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

7.4 What the Verse Means

Our attitude is crucial when dealing with a chronic illness. The cheerfulness of our mind does good like a medicine for the body. Our opinion contributes to the restoration or preservation of bodily health and vigor.

7.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Lord Jesus, help me to enjoy the funny things that happen in life.
  • Heavenly Father help me to take life one day at a time.
  • God, help me and my family and friends to not dwell on the seriousness of the chronic illness, but rather help us to live life to the fullest as we know you hold the future.

7.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. How is your attitude? Do you need an attitude adjustment? If so, God can help. Ask Him.
  2. Are you remaining affirming and positive in the presence of the one you are charged to care for? Remember, your outlook and attitude are catching. I’m not talking about some false it’s going to be all better attitude but a realistic today is going to be a good day attitude — and I’m going to do my best to make it a good day approach instead of a gloom and doom outlook.
  3. What can you do to bring joy and laughter today? Is there a favorite movie or comedy series you could watch together?

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”found in the far left column of the blog.

Hearing

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Devotions, Hope, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler, Memoir, PrayersLeave a comment

6 Hearing

6.1 My Story

“I need your decision on starting radiation treatment. What have decided?” asked the surgical oncologist.

“Not today. I just can’t make a decision today,” said my wife.

It was apparent she was overwhelmed with everything.

“Any delay could be life-threatening at the worst and life-shortening at the best. You need to decide on when you want to start treatments,” pressed the oncologist.

My wife rolled her tired eyes. She was less than a month from the initial Melanoma cancer surgery and the removal of both the cancerous area and thirty-four lymph nodes. She had a swollen left arm, wrist, and hand. Lymphedema therapy had just started that week.

“Can you go over the treatment options for us one more time? We’ll then go home and have some time to meditate and pray on what she’ll do next. We understand the urgency for beginning treatment,” I said.

This time it was the young surgical oncologist who rolled her eyes. She nodded and dutifully repeated the options. She concluded with a “Let me know soon what you are or are not going to do. While selecting no treatment is an option, not having the radiation greatly increases the chances of recurrence. If it recurs,” she added with a strong emphasis, “it will be terminal. There will be no treatment or cure. You will die.”

“Thank you. We’ll let you know in a few days,” I said. On the inside, I was mad at how she had restated the obvious — “If it recurs, it will be terminal. There will be no treatment or cure. You will die.”

On the hour drive home my wife slept. She was tired and weary. Over the next few days, we prayed, read Scripture, and then she said, “Call the doctor and find out who I need to contact to schedule the radiation.”

I received the contact information. My wife called and set up an appointment. I was amazed at God’s timing. The radiation doctor had a cancelation and they were able to get her in that very afternoon. If we had rushed and said yes to treatment four days earlier, she wouldn’t have been seen for nearly two weeks. Praying and seeking God’s guidance allowed treatment to begin almost immediately.

I firmly believe seeking God in her decisions is one reason why she lived over two-years longer than the initial projections.

It’s another example of my wife’s Godly wisdom and God’s faithfulness.

6.2 Hearing God’s Voice

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic or terminal illness is listening until we hear God’s voice.

When we face a constant disease too often, we rush in and try to accomplish everything in our own power. We manage this. We plan that. We listen to this aunt or to a trusted friend. We may hear conflicting recommendations from our healing team, that is the doctors, ministers, social workers, counselors, and other caregivers.

While wise counsel is right, we need to seek God and listen to his voice. We do this through prayer, Bible reading, and listening to sermons. We need to encourage our loved one to do the same.

Sometimes we are in such a rush to get to a solution or get things under control that we miss hearing from The Great Physician. We need to remember the words of Psalm 46:10 (KJV), “Be still, and know that I am God:”

Sometimes we just need to sit and be still before we can hear God.

6.3 Bible Verse

Psalm 143:8 (KJV) “Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.”

6.4 What the Verse Means

As we face trials and hardships, we can find ourselves overwhelmed. When we become inundated by fear, grief, depression, and self-pity, it becomes hard to hear God.

Today’s verse reminds us to spend time with God, to begin our day with God. As Christians, we can trust God. We can ask him to both guide us and to lift us up. We need to stop, that is too slow down and take time for God. We need to at his Word, that is to read the Bible. We need to listen, that his to hear sermons, hymns, and listen to his still small voice answering our prayers.

6.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father draw me to you in the morning where I can hear your righteousness.
  • Lord Jesus, I place my trust in you. Help me to always put all my faith in you.
  • I ask your Holy Spirit to speak to my spirit and to guide me in the way I should walk.
  • I pray you would lift my soul unto you.
  • I pray for myself, my spouse, our children, and grandchildren to be drawn to you, to experience you and choose to attend worship services where we can hear your word preached.

6.6 Responding to God’s Hope

Are you including God in your decision-making process? James 1:5 (KJV) reminds us, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

Are you listening for Gods still small voice?

Are you slowing down and waiting on God?

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

God’s Deliverance

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Devotions, Hope, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler, Memoir, Prayers2 Comments

5 Deliverance

5.1 My Story

My wife’s left arm had started swelling up. The wrist and hand also were puffed up and getting noticeably larger day by day. A surgical oncologist was called. An appointment was made with the managing oncologist.

When I returned from work, my wife greeted with the news. She said, “I have lymphedema.”

“They removed thirty-four of your lymph nodes last June when you had your Melanoma surgery. The lymph node removal and lymphoma seem like they might be related. Am I right?” I queried.

“Don’t look so smug. You don’t know everything,” Miss Benita replied playfully.

“It looks and sounds serious.”

“It is.” She went on to explain to me that lymphedema is a condition of localized fluid retention and tissue swelling caused by a compromised lymphatic system. In her case, the cause was complications from her cancer surgery.

“Can they treat it? What are they going to do?”

“I have an appointment with a lymphedema therapist later this week.”

She saw the lymphedema therapist. She was treated in the therapist’s office daily for two weeks, and then a machine lymphedema therapy machine was delivered to our home. For the next twenty-eight months she would attach herself to the device for an hour a day to reduce the swelling in the arm.

And no, she didn’t have to do the therapy the remainder of her life. Five months before her death the brain tumor she developed had an unexpected positive side effect. A combination of massive amounts of steroids taken to reduce swelling in the brain also reduced swelling in the arm.

The lymphedema was just the first of six addition afflictions my sweet wife experienced following her initial surgery.

Somehow, she maintained a Godly, optimistic attitude through it all. I can testify the Lord Jesus delivered her out of it all.

As her caregiver, I helped her stay on schedule, encouraged her, and picked up some of her former household responsibilities where she could go to the treatments with feeling guilty.

5.2 Deliverance for the Believer is in Jesus Christ

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness understands God’s deliverance for the Believer in Jesus Christ. The Bible does not flatter us with the false hope that goodness will secure us from trouble. Instead, the Bible warns us over and over to expect tribulation while we are in this body.

Our afflictions come from all directions and at any time. The challenges are many, but with Jesus Christ, we can face each day.

There is no promise the challenges, problems, illness, or disease will go away in this lifetime. However, the Lord will guide us through or lift us out of them.

5.3 Bible Verse

Psalm 34:19, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

5.4 What the Verse Means

We either have faced, are confronting, or will experience afflictions and trials. Facing adversity is an unchangeable fact.

There is good news. God’s mercies are more numerous than the afflictions and trials. God’s wisdom more wondrous than the sufferings and trials. God’s power is more miraculous than the hardships and trials. God will give us the grace we need to face them, and God will deliver us.

5.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father, I know the afflictions of the righteous are many.
  • Lord Jesus, I find some comfort in knowing hardships and trials are the norms.
  • I confess I don’t like the hardships and trials but trust in you.
  • God our Father, I give you thanks for the promise of deliverance.

5.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. What new challenges is your loved one facing?
  2. How can you help them as they navigate the new challenges?
  3. Have you asked God for the grace you need for the challenges? Give God the glory for meeting your needs when he provides the needed grace. Acknowledge his presence and activity in your loved one and your lives.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”found in the far left column of the blog.