16.1 My Story
My spouse paid the bills each month. We had a budget and discussed our financial priorities, but she wrote the checks each month and made the electronic payments. We were old school and had a joint checking account.
I had a basic understanding of what bills were due each month but did not know if they were paid electronically or by check. I also did not know the account numbers, contact information, and the like.
My spouse clung onto the bill paying. I asked her to tutor or mentor me where I could have some transition if the time came where I had to assume responsibility. She told me if she turned the bill paying over to me she was giving up on life. She added that it was the last thing she was holding on to do.
I pleaded with her to show me her system. Finally, less than two weeks before she went into hospice care we talked about finances and bill paying. She started to teach me but then stopped. She said the checkbook is here.
Her next words took me by surprise as she said, “I can’t do this. I can’t talk to you about the bills. You’re a brilliant man and will be able to figure this out. I’m sorry. You’ll have to deal with it when the time comes.”
I didn’t scream or yell. I didn’t even roll my eyes. I remember thinking that Miss Benita had more confidence in me than I did. I felt scared, helpless.
I also said a silent prayer. I wish I could tell you it was spiritual, but I asked God why she wouldn’t help me. I recall immediately hearing the still small voice of God. In my mind, I heard love your wife. She doesn’t need upsetting; she needs to feel my love through you. I’ll help you find the answers you need.
Gulp, I turned my fears over to God, trusted him, and to my amazement am still getting it all figured out. All bills have been paid on time. I have developed my routine. Instead of all the worst case scenarios that ran through my mind. I am wasn’t traumatized. I am surviving.
16.2 God’s Comfort is Available to You
Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness understands God’s comfort is available for you.
Have you ever been overwhelmed by your thoughts of how you will be able to handle or manage your loved one’s chronic illness? Have the “what ifs” overtaken you? Are any of your thoughts confused and even torturing you with the cares and fears about the future?
Today we will see how God’s comfort delights our soul. His promises, contained in His word (the Bible), and the memory of our past experiences of His care and kindness to us, afford us comfort. They can restore our discouraged mind.
16. 3 Bible Verse
Psalm 94:19 (KJV), “In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.”
16.4 What the Verse Means
When we are worried because of considering various possible outcomes and scenarios, listening to ungodly counsel from well-meaning friends, or just drowning in self-pity, we need to return to the Lord for real rest and comfort.
God’s comfort satisfies my soul. Focusing and meditating on His Word and teachings comfort me and delight me. True satisfaction only comes from God’s Holy Spirit!
16.5 Pray Using Scripture
- Heavenly Father I confess too often my thoughts are filled with various and confusing ideas. Protect me from the negative thinkers and their contrary counsel.
- Lord Jesus, I admit sometimes being tortured with cares and fears about my future due to my loved one’s chronic illness.
- God Almighty, I praise you because your comfort delights my soul.
- I have heard your promises taught in Sunday School as well as heard them preached in church and have read in the Bible. They comfort me.
- Lord, the memory of my experiences of your care and kindness to me, affords me such comfort as they restore my at times discouraged mind.
16.6 Responding to God’s Hope
- Turn your worries and concerns over to God. Take a piece of paper and write down five worries you have. When you finish writing your five fears say out loud, God, the concerns I have written I now turn over to you. Crumble the paper and throw it into your trash can.
- Do not focus on your worries and fears. Instead, thank God that for your ability to provide some care and comfort for your loved one. Remember, sometimes the essential support you provide is being there with them. I call it the ministry of your presence.
- As I type this, I am praying for the person who is reading these words needs. Know that at least one person has prayed for your needs, cares, and concerns in advance. God knew from the beginning of time that you would have this appointment with caregiving. Maybe that’s why I felt impressed to pray for you as I typed this morning.
Photo Source: Pixabay
This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D.
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