Boxy Lady
By Jimmie Aaron Kepler

(A Prime-time parody in the spirit of electric midnight and cardboard dreams)

You know you’re a fast-click heart-taker
You know you’re a late-night deal-maker
Hey…

You got that blue glow in your eyes
And that Amazon Prime logo by your side

You say, “It’s just one more thing, maybe three…”
But tomorrow there’s a cardboard mountain where the hallway used to be

Oh mercy, Boxy Lady
Stacked up to the ceiling, drivin’ me crazy

I see you there in the midnight light
Scrollin’ and swipin’ through the endless night

Your fingers fly like a runaway train
Every tap brings another cardboard rain

You whisper, “It’s on sale, I can’t say no…”
But the porch keeps groanin’ under every load

Oh lawdy, Boxy Lady
Brown paper towers, callin’ you baby

Closets full and the garage ain’t free
Still that homepage calls your soul to sea

Oh sweet Boxy Lady
Amazon Prime keeps callin’, and you answer daily

You got the drivers memorized by name
They just smile, say, “See you again…”

The doorbell rings like an electric six-string cry
Another box comes walkin’ inside

I said hey now… Boxy Lady
You got the whole house drownin’ in maybes
Yeah yeah… Boxy Lady
Cardboard kingdom, and you’re the queen, baby

Here comes another one now…

I hear that truck again.
You say not buying might be a is a sin

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Welcome to my cardboard zoo.

Oh my sweet Boxy Lady

Boxy Lady
The cardboard queen
Of the Amazon Prime Scene