The Breakfast Where My Mouth Was Frying Bacon Faster Than My Brain Could Flip It

I remember one particular morning on a trip sitting at breakfast with a female traveling companion. I have a long-term friendship with this beautiful woman, but we are not and have never been in a romantic relation.

We’re just part of this ragtag little fellowship of friends who collect museums, concerts, fine dining experiences, and long stories the way other folks collect stamps.

She’s good people. She is smart, funny, well-read, the sort who could make a grocery list sound interesting. And bless her heart, she tolerated me.

Now, I have this habit. It’s really an unholy one. I can hijack a conversation. Not meaning to, of course. It’s like my mouth starts running and forgets it’s supposed to be hooked up to my ears. I know she’s cringed once or twice, maybe thought about grabbing her coffee and making a break for it.

But that morning, as we sat at breakfast, I finally had to stop talking long enough to breathe. And she slipped in the softest little truth-telling you ever heard. She said, all grace and no malice, “I don’t need your full life story again or one of your cross-country rambles. You know what your problem is? You don’t know when not to talk. Just stay with the conversation. Don’t chase every rabbit that hops across your mind.”

Well. Yikes. Guilt as charged.

Certified Southern Champion of Talking When I Should Be Listening

I’ve always had this tendency. Someone shares something meaningful like a story, a hurt, some family drama, and instead of listening, really listening, I launch into a completely different tale about somebody else who once had something sort of similar happen. It’s rude. It’s selfish. It’s lonely, too, if I’m being honest. Mostly, it shows I hadn’t yet learned the sacred art of shutting up.

My late grandmother tried to warn me. I was barely old enough to shave when she said, “Jimmie Aaron, girls don’t much care about what you know, where you’ve been, or how many stories you can tell, unless you’re saying something sweet about them. That’s why they like the strong, silent types.”

If only I’d listened.

I talked myself off the honor roll once or twice. Not academically, but because I got dinged for “citizenship.” In school, in work, all through life, folks have said kindly but firmly, “Jimmie’s a bit too social.” Or, “Jimmie needs to tighten up his speech. He needs to talk like he writes: short, sharp, and without all the scenic detours.”

Lord Knows Grandma Tried, but My Mouth Was Louder Than Her Wisdom

And then, just recently, I stumbled across that line in Isaiah: “But they were silent and answered him not a word…” Hezekiah had told his people to keep their lips zipped while the Assyrian envoy was boasting threats at them. It wasn’t the moment for comebacks or explanations. It was a time for silence.

“But they were silent and answered him not a word, for the king’s command was, ‘Do not answer him.’”

Isaiah 36:21 (ESV)

And there have been so many times I should’ve done the same.

You see, many words tend to drag you straight into trouble. The whole proverb goes on to say something that basically amounts to: “Keep talking and you’ll make a fool of yourself.” Talk long enough and you’ll spill a secret you shouldn’t, drop a sharp word you didn’t mean, or wander into territory that never needed visiting. Lots of things in life are better left unsaid.

And when you won’t stop talking, you can’t hear anything. Not your friends. Not the people you love. Not even God.

Learning the Holy Gospel of Shush: When God Says ‘Hush Your Mouth’

I keep reminding myself God gave me two ears and one tongue on purpose, but you’d never guess it from the way I operate. The people on the wall in Hezekiah’s day listened. I wish I could say I always do.

Talking and listening can’t happen at the same time. One always elbows the other out of the way.

But there are moments, holy ones, healing ones, when silence is gold enough to buy back peace you’ve wasted. These days, I’m learning to ask God to show me those moments. When to hold my tongue. When to speak gently, if at all. When to honor someone not with a story of my own, but with my quiet attention.

Because sometimes the most loving thing a person can do is simply hush.

During the sounds of silence is when you can hear God.

Here’s a few examples from God’s word:

Proverbs 10:19 directly connects a multitude of words with making a mistake.

“When words are many, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”

Proverbs 10:19

Ecclesiastes 10:12–14 contrasts the speech of the wise and the foolish.

“The words of a wise person are gracious and win favor, but the lips of a fool lead to their own ruin…”

Ecclesiastes 10:12–14 

Proverbs 17:28 reminds us that silence often prevents foolishness.

“Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise…”

Proverbs 17:28

Grace and Peace
Jimmie Aaron Kepler

Did you enjoy this article? You can find more of Jimmie Aaron Kepler’s non-fiction books at NONFICTION and his speculative fiction books written as Jim Kepler at FICTION.