Tag: Benita Beatrice Breeding Kepler

How to Have Real Deliverance

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How to Have Real Deliverance

5.1 My Story

Miss Benita left arm had started swelling up. The wrist and hand also were puffed up. Both were getting noticeably larger day by day. 

My wife called the surgical oncologist for instructions on managing the swelling. This surgeon referred my wife to the managing oncologist.

One day shortly after the phone calls my wife greeted me with new information. She said, “I have lymphedema.”

“They removed thirty-four of your lymph nodes last June when you had your Melanoma surgery. The lymph node removal and lymphoma seem like they might be related. Am I right?” I queried.

“Don’t look so smug. You don’t know everything,” Miss Benita replied playfully.

“It looks and sounds serious,” I said staring at her left arm and hand.

“It is.”

She went on to explain to me that lymphedema is a condition of localized fluid retention and tissue swelling caused by a compromised lymphatic system. In her case, the cause was complications from her cancer surgery.

“Can they treat it? What are they going to do?”

“I have an appointment with a lymphedema therapist later this week.”

She saw the lymphedema therapist. She was treated in the therapist’s office daily for two weeks of massage by hand of her arm, wrist, and hand. The massage therapy was followed with lymphedema therapy machine being delivered to our home. 

For the next twenty-eight months she would attach herself to the device for an hour a day to reduce the swelling in the arm.

And no, she didn’t have to do the therapy the remainder of her life. Five months before her death the brain tumor she developed had an unexpected positive side effect. A combination of massive amounts of steroids taken to reduce swelling in the brain also reduced swelling in the arm. Miss Benita was overjoyed not having to do the lymphedema therapy. 

The lymphedema was just the first of six addition afflictions my sweet wife experienced following her initial surgery.

Somehow, she maintained a Godly, optimistic attitude through it all. I can testify the Lord Jesus delivered her out of it all.

As her caregiver, I helped her stay on schedule, encouraged her, and picked up some of her former household responsibilities where she could go to the treatments without feeling guilty.

5.2 Deliverance for the Believer is in Jesus Christ

Part caring for a person with a chronic illness understands God’s deliverance for the Believer in Jesus Christ. The Bible does not flatter us with the false hope that goodness will secure us from trouble. Instead, the Bible warns us over and over to expect tribulation while we are in this body.

Our afflictions come from all directions and at any time. The challenges are many, but with Jesus Christ, we can face each day.

There is no promise the challenges, problems, illness, or disease will go away in this lifetime. However, the Lord will guide us through or lift us out of them.

5.3 Bible Verse

Psalm 34:19, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

5.4 What the Verse Means

We either have faced, are confronting, or will experience afflictions and trials. Suffering is an unchangeable fact.

There is good news. God’s mercies are more numerous than the afflictions and trials. God’s wisdom more wondrous than the sufferings and trials. God’s power is more miraculous than the hardships and trials. God will give us the grace we need to face them, and God will deliver us.

5.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father, I know the afflictions of the righteous are many.
  • Lord Jesus, I find some comfort in knowing hardships and trials are the norms.
  • I confess I don’t like the difficulties and trials but trust in You.
  • God our Father, I give You thanks for the promise of deliverance.

5.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. What new challenges is your loved one facing?
  2. How can you help them as they navigate the new challenges? 
  3. Have you asked God for the grace you need for the problems? Give God the glory for meeting your needs when he provides the needed grace. Acknowledge his presence and activity in your loved one and your lives. 

5.7 Takeaway

We face many challenges. With Jesus, we can face each day.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

How to Rest in God

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How to Rest in God

4.1 My Story

You may be like my late wife when she was battling Stage Four Melanoma cancer. She found herself very tired. She needed rest. 

My daily caregiving of my wife also left me weary. Like my wife, I needed rest.

The managing of my wife’s schedule required a skillset that even an air traffic controller would envy. First, she had the never ending visits to her primary medical team. The army of medical doctors included the primary care physician, surgical oncologist, managing oncologist, dermatologist, gastro endocrinologist, thyroid doctor, cardiologist (the heart must be healthy enough for the treatments) and radiologist. These physicians did the routine checks, prescribed the medications and treatments, performed biopsies and surgery as well as ordered the tests.

A group of medical technicians did the grunt work of tests and treatment procedures. In this category was blood work, PET scans, CAT scans, MRIs, days and weeks of radiation treatments and the lymphedema therapy.

At home, my wife did months of daily chemotherapy prescription medications, spent hours waiting for UPS or FedEx to deliver the refrigerated prescriptions from the exotic, super expensive pharmacy, did 24/7/365 lymphedema therapy at home with the machine that sounded like Darth Vader with a sleeve that looked like the nose of Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street.

Added to these challenges was managing her work schedule to maintain health insurance. These alone were enough to have her constantly exhausted. Unfortunately, more daily challenges were adding to her fatigue.

My wife’s eating schedule controlled her life. She had to take the prescription medications and then wait two hours to eat or eat and wait several hours before she could take the medications. The routine dictated the time of day when she woke and went to bed.

You get the picture and can relate. Like my wife, you get tired. Yes, the patient gets tired. The caregiver also gets worn down. The caregiver makes sure the loved one stays on schedule and task. 

As the caregiver, you need to rest. You need God.

4.2 Resting in the Lord

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness understands the need for resting in the Lord.

Caregiving for a loved one with a chronic illness can leave you tired and weary. I am talking about becoming bone tired. I am talking about the type of fatigue that vacations or even a sabbatical cannot cure.

4.3 Bible Verse

Exodus 33:14 (KJV), “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

4.4 What the Verse Means

The Lord is telling Moses that God will personally go with him. The Lord will give him rest. He is informing Moses that everything will ultimately be fine for him.

For the caregiver, this doesn’t mean that your loved one will be healed in this life. Final healing may not happen until heaven.

The application for the Believer in Christ is the Lord also personally goes with us, gives us rest, and promises to sustain us during our caregiving journey.

4.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father thank you for Your presence going with us.
  • Lord Jesus, thank you for the rest You give us.
  • God, we ask to experience Your rest again this day.
  • Let us use Sundays as the day of rest and worship.

4.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Remember a recent time you felt God’s presence. What were you doing? Recall how you felt his presence.
  2. Ask God to go with you and be with you today as you work and go about your caregiving responsibilities.
  3. Are you getting enough rest? Are you reading your Bible regularly? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you taking time to be still?

4.7 Takeaway

God personally goes with us both sustaining and provide the rest we need.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

You Have Permission to Cry

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You Have Permission to Cry

3.1 My Story

“I removed the tumor. The tests also showed it has spread to your wife’s lymph nodes. I removed thirty-four lymph nodes,” said the surgical oncologist.

I stared at the doctor. She was slowly becoming out of focus as I became teary-eyed. I knew the initial diagnosis of Stage 3 Melanoma Cancer was terrible. I knew the Melanoma was spreading into the lymph nodes was very bad. I knew this would kill my wife. Even though I was trying hard not to, I started sobbing.

The surgeon then said the words I needed to hear. She said, “It’s okay to cry.”

She took me in her arms, and I wept.

With her four simple words, I stopped pretending to be a macho man, let down my guard, and let the emotions of the moment take over. She had permitted me to cry.

Today wouldn’t be the last time sobbing would overcome me. I would cry many more times over the next thirty-four months. Even now over one year since my wife’s passing, the crying returns from time to time.

Remember, you have permission to cry.

The Bible tells of Jesus crying when Lazarus died. The Heavenly Father cares about our tears. Today’s Bible verse tells what God’s word says about crying.

3.2 Tears are Normal

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness realizes that tears are normal. Caring for a loved one will bring tears. It’s okay to cry. Even Jesus wept (John 11:35 KJV, “Jesus wept.”).

3.3 Bible Verse

Psalm 56:8-9 (KJV), “Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me.”

3.4 What the Verses Mean

Why would God keep tears in a bottle?

The idea behind the keeping of “tears in a bottle” is a remembrance. King David, the writer of these verses, is expressing a deep trust in God. He knows that God remembers his sorrow. He knows God remembers his tears.

King David also is sure the God will never forget about him. David is confident that God is on his side.

3.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father, thank you for making us where we can cry and experience the emotional release of the resulting tears. Teach me to understand and accept that my tears help me identify and help me deal with my feelings.
  • Lord Jesus, thank you for letting me know crying is okay.
  • Almighty God, it is comforting to know that You notice and keep track of my tears.
  • I turn the sorrow concerning the chronic illness of my loved one and my ability to care for them over to You. You are Yahweh-Rapha (God that heals).
  • I pray that my family and I would feel the freedom to cry out to You God and let the tears flow when the release is needed.
  • I pray that my family and friends would be supportive, loving, and understanding during the times the tears flow.
  • I pray that I would hold on to God during these times without questioning. Help me to accept God’s comfort.
  • Help me to have the confidence of King David, the author of these verses, and say with him – for God is for me.

3.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Have you given yourself and your loved ones permission to cry? Remember it’s okay to shed tears. Share with your family members that there are times when you cry. Sharing your weeping will permit them to do the same. There are times when they need to cry.
  2. Remember that God will not forget about your loved one. He does not forget about you or the other caregivers. Thank God for remembering you and not deserting you.
  3. What is the first concern you think of when it comes to caring for your loved one? Tell God what that concern is and remember, it’s okay to cry. Tears are normal.

3.7 Takeaway

God gives you permission to cry. He even collects your tears in a bottle.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

What’s With The Bloody Spot?

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler1 Comment

What’s With The Bloody Spot?

1.1 My Story

“What’s going on? What’s with the bloody spot?” I asked, pointing to the half-dollar sized stain on the lower left front of my wife Benita’s blouse.

My heart was aching. It looked terrible, scary. I knew this couldn’t be good.

Miss Benita gazed down toward the damp crimson. Her eyes looked tired, sad. She said, “It’s my mole. It started bleeding.”

I recalled the small mole. I had first noticed the growth over forty years earlier on our wedding night. I had playfully kidded her about it that night calling it her beauty mark. I found out that was the wrong thing to do. She was sensitive about the mole.

“What’s going on?” I asked. I could hear the fear, concern, and the demand for an answer in my voice.

She lifted her eyes meeting mine. I could see the tears forming. She smiled weakly and then said, “I think I must have scratched or irritated it, maybe at work. It started bleeding a couple of weeks ago. It scabbed over a couple of times, but when I thought it was healing, I would do something to cause the scab to bleed. I thought it would get better. Instead, I think it may be getting infected. It may be getting worse, and it’s not healing,” she said.

Melanoma Cancer, I thought.

“Has Dr. Z looked at it?”

She knows this is bad, I thought.

She shook her head, “No, not yet. I didn’t want to mess up our vacation to Colorado and your writer’s conference,” she answered with a forced smile and then lowered her eyes.

I took her hand, lovingly squeezed it, and hugged her holding her close. We were out for an afternoon of shopping in a local furniture store and enjoying each other’s company.

I nodded and then said, “Let’s go home where I can look at it.”

She stared at me, our eyes locking for a few seconds. It was as if she was saying I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to let it get this bad. She looked sad. Then she nodded.

She knows this is very bad, I thought.

We held hands, walked unhurriedly through the store, and to the car. I drove us home. There was a chilling silence in the car.

Once home, I led her to the bedroom and closed the door. She unbuttoned the blouse and removed a blood-soaked gauze bandage. The mole was oozing blood through a cracked dreadful-looking scab.

The mole had grown from the size of an eraser on a number 2 pencil to about the size of a quarter. It had changed from a light brown to a horrible black since I last remembered seeing it.

Melanoma Cancer, I again thought.

“Let’s call the dermatologist. I think that’s Melanoma Cancer,” I said with a seriousness that scared even me.

Miss Benita’s lips tightened, and eyes narrowed at hearing the words. She shook slightly and exhaled.

I asked, “Do you want me to call and get you an appointment, or do you prefer to call?”

She glanced at herself in the mirror, looking at the mole. “I’ll call the dermatologist. Dr. Z will refer me there,” she said.

The same day Miss Benita saw the dermatologist an in-office out-patient surgery was performed removing the mole and adjacent tissue. The physician had the test expedited. She called late that night with the biopsy’s results.

“I wrote down what the doctor told me. She said, ‘It’s malignant. It is a type of cancer called Melanoma, and it’s advanced stage 3. The depth of cancer determines the stage. It’s within one centimeter of being stage four.’ I know it’s terrible. I could hear the doctor’s quivering voice and her choking back tears. She told me this is serious and could kill me,” said a shaken Miss Benita.

The dermatologist acquired an appointment with a surgical oncologist. She said I needed to go to the office with my wife. Her finding us an appointment the next morning at 8 AM showed the urgency of the situation. My wife had surgery within a couple of days.

The surgery’s findings were terrible. It was Melanoma Cancer. The cancer had spread to the lymph nodes.

The oncological surgeon removed thirty-four lymph nodes. The physician told me the five-year survival rate for these findings was less than ten percent.

While my wife was still in recovery at the hospital, the surgeon told us some of the treatment options and that when not if, cancer recurred it would be restaged to Melanoma stage 4 and would be terminal. There was no cure. She said death was the ultimate destination of this journey barring God’s intervention or a new medical and pharmaceutical breakthrough.

I knew Melanoma stage 3 was too big for me to handle. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had already moved into a new role as a caregiver. I also realized the future my wife and I had planned together had suddenly changed. We would have no retirement years to share. Death would call on Miss Benita before then.

Our hopes and dreams vanished. Despair and hopelessness replaced them. I was overwhelmed, just thinking about the day to day struggles of caregiving. I faced the fear of the unknown.

So many questions flooded my mind. Would my wife survive? How long would she live? What would be the quality of her life and mine? How would we pay the medical bills? How much help was she going to need from me daily? How could I be brave and help her? How was this going to affect our day jobs?

I also was concerned for our three grown children and granddaughter. What I needed was hope.

The purpose of this book is to share the hope Christians have and the hope that my wife and I exercised through our faith in Jesus Christ. It shares my journey as a caregiver.

“Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” offers Biblical guidance and support helping you in your role as caregiver. It will help you connect with the perfect love, which casts out all fear, the love of Jesus Christ.

The day I noticed the bloody spot on Miss Benita’s blouse, my wife and I prayed together. We shared I love you and claimed, Psalm 56:3 (KJV), “What time I am afraid I will trust in thee” and 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your cares on the Lord for He careth for you.”

This story does not have an Earthly happily ever after ending. My wife lived 1001 days from the date of her first surgery. Then she died.

The faith we both had in Jesus Christ allowed us to face each day with hope.

Yes, even with our hope we had because of our Christian faith, we still were afraid. However, our trust in Jesus Christ carried us through the process, moving us from fear to a calmness that could only come from God. The fact that my wife was a Christian gave us a real-world spiritual happily ever after ending. She is in heaven today, and one day, since I am also a Christian, I will join her there.

1.2 It’s Okay to be Afraid

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness understands that fear of the unknown and fear of the journey you are beginning is normal. It’s a scary assignment. When you’re a caregiver, it’s okay to be afraid.

You also need to learn to accept the hope for the caregiver that’s available through Jesus Christ. The hope available through the love of Jesus Christ will help you face and handle the fears you will encounter in your journey of caregiving.

1.3 Bible Verse

1 John 4:18 King James Version of the Holy Bible (KJV), “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

1.4 What the Verse Means

John says that perfect love produces courage in the day of judgment. It casts out fear.

How does the perfect love of Jesus Christ accomplish casting out fear? Perfect love casts out fear because it produces a likeness to Christ.

There is another way in which love produces boldness. It does this by casting out fear. The entrance of perfect love through Jesus Christ is for fear a “cease and desist” letter. It is an order to quit.

When love arrives, it brings hand in hand with itself courage.

Boldness is the companion of love, only when love is perfect. Only professing Christians can experience this perfect love of God, a love that casts out fear.

As Believer’s in Jesus Christ, we can face the future, including being the caregiver of a loved one with a chronic illness, and even confront their death with the peace that only comes from Christ’s perfect love.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.

Appendix A explains how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ today.

See Appendix A at the back of this book for information on How to Become a Christian.

1.5 Pray Using Scripture

• Lord Jesus, thank You that there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.
• Heavenly Father help me to keep my mind focused on You and Your love for me.
• God, help me remove any concerns I may have as I look to the future by turning them over to You.
• Provide Your grace to meet the challenges I encounter daily. I cannot travel this journey alone but can with You.
• Help me to know without any doubt that as a Believer in Jesus Christ, my ultimate future is in Heaven.
• Help my loved one to trust in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior if they are not a Christian.
• If my loved one is not a Christian, prepare their heart to hear the Gospel and to accept Christ as Savior.

1.6 Responding to God’s Hope

1. List two examples of times you have been afraid (Psalm 56:3 and 1 Peter 5:7).

2. Remember two times you have trusted in God since the diagnosis of your loved one’s chronic illness (Psalm 56:3 and 1 Peter 5:7).

3. List two cares or concerns you are facing. Cast (or give) those cares to the Lord, remembering that “He careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7).

1.7 Takeaway

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness understands that fear of the unknown and fear of the journey is normal.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

Caregiving: Biblical Insights From a Caregiver’s Journey

Posted in Bible, Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie KeplerLeave a comment

Chronic Illness

When you learn your loved one has a chronic illness, your hopes and dreams may be erased, replaced by feelings of hopelessness. You may feel overwhelmed or even afraid as you look ahead at the day-to-day struggles of caregiving.

Biblical Guidance and Support

Caregiving: Biblical Insights From a Caregiver’s Journey offers Biblical guidance and support helping persons connect with the perfect love which casts out all fear, the love of Jesus Christ.

Scripture, Explanation, Application, Prayer, and with a Takeaway

Each chapter contains Scripture from the Holy Bible, explanation of the verse, application of the Truth to daily living, a prayer using the verse, three directed questions for journaling, and a takeaway.

In the days ahead I will be sharing my story of caring for my late wife along with twenty-three Biblical insights and takeaways learned while being her caregiver.

Photo Source: Photo of my late wife Benita Kepler and my cat Lacey taken by the author.

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  found in the far left column of the blog.

March 7, 2014

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Bluebonnet RoadThis Day in Texas History:

It is Friday March 7, 2014. It is the 66th day of 2014. There are 299 days left in the year.

Did you know the Bluebonnet is the state flower of Texas. If you are from Texas of course you know that. If you’re not from here, but got here as fast as you could, you may know that. If you wish you lived here now you know.

Way back in 1901 the Texas legislature adopted the Bluebonnet as the state flower. While it is very pretty, there just weren’t enough of them around for all to enjoy. The solution? In the 1930’s the Texas Highway Department started putting Bluebonnet seeds along our roadways. It’s no accident the blue flowers are everywhere.

A typical spring sight in Texas is children standing or seated among the state flora with mother or father snapping their picture. Some families go to the same spot every year and have a history of their youngins growing up in the land of the Bluebonnets.

To Protect and To Serve (Part Two):

Yesterday I shared I was pulled over by my local police as I was driving to work. The officer said the light was out over my license plate. They checked my driver’s license, state inspection, and car insurance. When I arrived at Starbucks, I checked. The lights over the license plate work, were on, but were very dim.

I replaced both light bulbs after work yesterday. My local Auto Zone Store was very helpful. They sold me some super bright LED bulbs. With tax they were over $10.00. They showed me how to remove the bulbs and replace them. Now it looks like there is a spotlight shining on my license plate.

Miss Benita:

I refer to my bride of over 39 years as Miss Benita. Her real name is Benita Beatrice Breeding Kepler. As a southern gentleman I call her Miss Benita. No, I didn’t watch too many episodes of the original Dallas TV show back in the 1970’s and 1980’s. Remember Jock Ewing calling his wife and J.R.s mother Miss Ellie? My grandfather addressed my grandmother this way. I thought is showed great respect. I still do.

Miss Benita was diagnosed with cancer back in December 2013. They found a malignant tumor. They were not able to remove all because it had spread into the lymph node.  On March 5 Miss Benita received the results of tests that show if the cancer has spread elsewhere. I’ll quote her post on Facebook, “Back from oncologist. Good report. No more cancer found. No treatment needed at this time. Will see him again next month.”