I’m Not Going to Sit and Wait to Die

I’m Not Going to Sit and Wait to Die

19.1 My Story

I’m sure my late wife grew tired of me asking, “What did you weight this morning?”

She would dutifully look at me and then give me the number. It was almost always the same weight. Oh, it may go up or down by a pound or two but generally was the same.

One day she replied, “You’re asking my weight to see if cancer is causing me to lose weight. Am I correct?”

Guilty as charged.

Then she schools me. She said, “You’re dying like I am. It may not be cancer that’s getting you. It’s old age. Even though you look a decade younger than your years, Father Time is getting you. The sands that count your days are slipping through the hourglass at an ever-increasing rate — and they’ll run out one day.”

I nodded.

“I am not going to sit on the couch and wait to die! There is no way I’m going to sit on the couch, wasting away. God still has a purpose for me.” She then reminded me she still read her Bible daily, prayed for herself, and interceded for others.

She pointed out that God was renewing her inner person daily. Oh, the body was decaying, aging, suffering the ravaging of cancer, but God had her spirit, and inner parson renewed daily.

My wife was smart. I may have had the formal seminary and graduate school education with a couple of fancy masters and a doctoral degree, but she knew so much more than me from a deeper walk with the Lord in Bible reading, scripture meditation, and time in prayer.

She taught me that we shouldn’t be obsessed with the physical body. The Christian’s faith is far from a fatalistic acceptance of suffering and awaiting death. Every believer in Jesus Christ needs their eyes opened to something else. That something is the continuous restoration of the inner person.

When my late wife was in her final days in hospice care, the incredible calming power of God’s word was apparent. I would read from the Book of Psalms in the Bible to her. The occasional anxiousness she had from the terrible pain she suffered would melt away and transform to calm when the words of the Bible were read. Playing favorite hymns and worship songs worked the same miracle. It reminded me of the way she used breathing techniques to mitigate pain when in labor during the delivery of our children. She was so brave. Her tumor was located in the area of the brain that controlled pain and nausea. Because of the location, normal pain and nausea management medications and techniques did not to work. 

I had witnessed Scriptures’ calming power on the life of a Believer of Jesus Christ for two-plus decades as a full-time minister working with responsibilities with older adults and pastoral care. Many times as I would read familiar Bible verses, the chronically or terminally ill person would transform from anxiousness and fear into peacefulness. Sometimes they even from memory would say or quote the Bible verses with me.

The power of God’s word is incredible.

19.2 Not Losing Heart

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness is learning how not to lose heart and help your loved one not develop a gloom and doom attitude. God’s word helps you to have a confident acceptance of the reality of life. It enables you to keep the faith.

19.3 Bible Verse

2 Corinthians 4: 16 (KJV), “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.”

19.4 What the Verse Means

Christianity understands the steady decline of the physical body. Though we are rescued from spiritual death and alive with Christ, our bodies remain in the process of decay.

The follower of Christ should recognize that our outer bodies are wasting away. From the moment of birth, we begin to die. It is inescapable unless the Lord Jesus returns first.

The Christian should be aware of increasing inner, spiritual strength. God does not forsake his children, but he gives us growing supplies of grace.

The Holy Spirit works in us as an infinite well of life. We are in a constant process of renewal. The Lord does not allow us to be born again and then ignore us. No, He gives us daily spiritual energy.

May we never forget the physical and the spiritual are part of your life every day.

19.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father help me to not focus on my decaying or diseased body, but to realize that my inner self is being renewed daily.
  • Lord Jesus, help me look to the things that are not seen, not the which are seen.
  • God, help me look to the eternal, not the temporal.

19.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Are you spending time in God’s word? If not, I encourage you to return to reading your Bible or being today for the first time. You can start with just a verse or two. God will speak to you. 
  2. Are you spending time in prayer? If not, I encourage you to start today. A good beginning would be praying, “God, help me spend time reading your Bible. Lord, teach me to pray.” 
  3. Are you obsessed with your loved one’s physical appearance? Radiation and chemotherapy take a toll. They may lose their hair. My wife had no hair her last five months of life. I didn’t see her hairless head. I saw her beautiful smile and radiant countenance. She was comfortable without a wig and would wear a chemo beanie when she went to the doctor or on days when she was able to go out for a walk or meal. 

19.7 Takeaway

God’s word helps you to have a confident acceptance of the reality of life and enables you to keep the faith.


If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

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9 thoughts on “I’m Not Going to Sit and Wait to Die

  1. This was great! What an example your wife was! I’m thankful for the reminder of the peace-inducing power of the Word!

  2. Your post gives hope and that’s what God’s love is all about, isn’t it? Miss Benita continues to be a spiritual inspiration to us all. Together, the two of you are part of God’s plan to grant others spiritual renewal and energy. Thank you for the blessing today.

  3. Jimmie, it sounds like your wife looked to God and found strength even in the most taxing situations. What hope that gives us that He will never leave us either.

  4. Thank you, Jimmie, for continuing to be a witness to others with your experiences from a very difficult time in your life. May God continue to comfort you as you comfort others with your words.

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