Tag: Prayers for the Chronically Ill

The Therapeutic Value of Romantic Comedies

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler5 Comments

The Therapeutic Value of Romantic Comedies

7.1 My Story

There is nothing funny about a spouse having a chronic or terminal illness. There indeed isn’t anything comical about caring for them and all the nuisances involved with the daily routine.

Over the years, I had heard time and time again that opposites attract. My experience would agree with the statement. Many times I have been told I am the least spontaneous person alive.

Maybe my living my life structured like a German railroad schedule or the fact I grew up in a career military family and then was a US Army officer helped influence me in this arena. My wife enjoyed the structure of routine but also loved the unexpected blessings of life. Where I needed a to-do list and schedule for my day and had my day disrupted with change, she embraced the unexpected.

I also am a very stoic person. Again, being a military officer affected me in this area. I believe nearly twenty-years of full-time Christian ministry also had me being the rock of stability in stressful situations. I was the steady influence, the calm in the storm for so many. It allowed me to officiate funerals of friends and even my parents with a solemn seriousness that my wife sometimes hated and caused others to refer to me as a robot-man.

I remember the surgical oncologist actively encouraging me to lighten up. She said my serious all the time attitude was contagious. My constant seriousness was gloomy and the incorrect disposition for my wife to catch.

The doctor added attitude is crucial when dealing with a chronic illness like my wife’s cancer. The cheerfulness of mind does good like a medicine for the body. Our outlook contributes to the restoration or preservation of bodily health and vigor.

Medical science tells us the red blood cells, most white blood cells, and platelets are produced in the bone marrow, the soft fatty tissue inside bone cavities. Proverbs 17:22 (KJV) teaches, “A poor spirit/attitude ‘drieth the bones’ which produce the needed cells.”

The surgical oncologist encouraged me to watch romantic comedies, funny situation comedies, and even some comedy specials with my wife. She said they would get us both laughing. It would help me to lighten my mood. It would help with my wife’s healing. She said there is therapeutic value in watching romantic comedies.

The medical doctor questioned my expectation of the value of the prescribed treatments asking if I was already given over to my wife’s death to cancer. She said it was too early to give up hope. She said those with a more positive attitude live longer. Her little talk helped me to recalibrate my thinking and adjust my outlook. She said I should embrace the time I would have with my spouse. Maybe my making that small change in viewpoint contributed to my spouse’s living almost two years longer than first anticipated. Only God knows if it did.

By the way, we can learn a lot if we read our Bible.

7.2 Learning to Laugh

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness is learning to laugh.

7.3 Bible Verse

Proverbs 17:22 (KJV), “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

7.4 What the Verse Means

Our attitude is crucial when dealing with a chronic illness. The cheerfulness of our mind does good like a medicine for the body. Our opinion contributes to the restoration or preservation of bodily health and vigor.

7.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Lord Jesus, help me to enjoy the funny things that happen in life.
  • Heavenly Father help me to take life one day at a time.
  • God, help me, and my family and friends to not dwell on the seriousness of the chronic illness, but rather help us to live life to the fullest as we know You hold the future.

7.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. How is your attitude? Do you need an attitude adjustment? If so, God can help. Ask Him.
  2. Are you remaining affirming and confident? Remember, your outlook and attitude are catching. I’m not talking about some false it’s going to be all better attitude but a realistic today is going to be a good day attitude — and I’m going to do my best to make it a good day approach instead of a gloom and doom outlook.
  3. What can you do to bring joy and laughter today? Is there a favorite movie or comedy series you could watch together?

7.7 Takeaway

As you care for your loved one, a positive attitude helps.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler, please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

Any Delay Could Be Life Threatening

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Any Delay Could Be Life Threatening

6.1 My Story

“I need your decision on starting radiation treatment. What have decided?” asked the surgical oncologist.

“Not today. I can’t make a decision today,” said my wife with angst in her voice.

It was apparent she was overwhelmed with everything.

“Any delay could be life-threatening at the worst and life-shortening at best. You need to decide on when you want to start treatments,” pressed the oncologist.

My wife rolled her tired eyes. She was less than a month from the initial Melanoma cancer surgery and the removal of both the cancerous area and thirty-four lymph nodes. She had a swollen left arm, wrist, and hand. Lymphedema therapy had just started that week.

Miss Benita glanced at me for help.

“Can you go over the treatment options for us one more time? We’ll then go home and have some time to meditate and pray on what she’ll do next. We understand the urgency for beginning treatment,” I said.

My wife exhaled slowly, smiled, and nodded.

This time it was the young surgical oncologist who rolled her eyes. She nodded and dutifully repeated the options. She concluded with a “Let me know soon what you are or are not going to do. While selecting no treatment is an option, not having the radiation greatly increases the chances of recurrence. If it recurs,” she added with a strong emphasis, “the Melanoma will be terminal. There will be no treatment or cure. You will die.”

“Thank you. We’ll let you know in a few days,” I said as I saw Miss Benita flinch. On the inside, I was mad at how the doctor had restated the obvious — “If it recurs, it will be terminal. There will be no treatment or cure. You will die.”

On the hour drive home, my wife slept. She was tired and weary. Over the next few days together, we prayed, read Scripture, and then she said, “Call the doctor and find out who I need to contact to schedule the radiation.”

I called the surgical oncologist getting the contact information. Benita called and set up an appointment. 

I was amazed at God’s timing. The radiation doctor had a patient cancel an appointment. If we could come now, they were able to get her in that very afternoon. If we had rushed and said yes to treatment four days earlier, radiation treatments would not have started for nearly two weeks. Praying and seeking God’s guidance allowed treatment to begin almost immediately.

I firmly believe seeking God in her decisions is one reason why she lived over two-years longer than the initial projections.

It’s another example of my wife’s Godly wisdom and God’s faithfulness.

6.2 Hearing God’s Voice

Part of caring for a person with a chronic or terminal illness is listening until we hear God’s voice.

When we face a chronic disease too often, we rush in and try to accomplish everything in our power. We manage this. We plan that. We listen to this aunt or that special trusted friend. We may hear conflicting recommendations from our healing team, that is the doctors, ministers, social workers, counselors, and other caregivers.

While wise counsel is right, we also need to seek God and listen to his voice. We do this through prayer, Bible reading, and listening to sermons. 

We need to encourage our loved one to do the same.

Sometimes we are in such a rush to get to a solution or get things under control that we miss hearing from “The Great Physician.” We need to remember the words of Psalm 46:10 (KJV), “Be still, and know that I am God:”

Sometimes we need to sit and be still before we can hear God.

6.3 Bible Verse

Psalm 143:8 (KJV) “Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.”

6.4 What the Verse Means

As we face trials and hardships, we can find ourselves overwhelmed. When we become inundated by fear, grief, depression, and self-pity, it becomes hard to hear God.

Psalm 143:8 reminds us to spend time with God to begin our day with God. As Christians, we can trust God. We can ask him to guide us. We need to stop, that is too slow down and take time for God. We need to read the Bible and meditate on His Word. We need to listen, that is to hear sermons, hymns, and listen to God’s still small voice answering our prayers.

6.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father draw me to You in the morning where I can hear Your righteousness.
  • Lord Jesus, I place my trust in You. Help me to always put all my faith in You.
  • I ask Your Holy Spirit to speak to my spirit and to guide me in the way I should walk.
  • I pray You would lift my soul unto You.
  • I pray for myself, my spouse, our children, and grandchildren to be drawn to You, to experience You and choose to attend worship services where we can hear Your word preached.

6.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Are you including God in your decision-making process? James 1:5 (KJV) reminds us, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”
  2. Are you listening for Gods still small voice? 
  3. Are you slowing down and waiting on God?

6.7 Takeaway

We need to spend time with God. We do this by reading the Bible, listening to Hymns and spiritual songs, listening to sermons, and by prayer and meditation. Spending time with God helps us make Godly decisions as well as helps us to wait upon the Lord and His timing.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler, please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

How to Have Real Deliverance

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How to Have Real Deliverance

5.1 My Story

Miss Benita left arm had started swelling up. The wrist and hand also were puffed up. Both were getting noticeably larger day by day. 

My wife called the surgical oncologist for instructions on managing the swelling. This surgeon referred my wife to the managing oncologist.

One day shortly after the phone calls my wife greeted me with new information. She said, “I have lymphedema.”

“They removed thirty-four of your lymph nodes last June when you had your Melanoma surgery. The lymph node removal and lymphoma seem like they might be related. Am I right?” I queried.

“Don’t look so smug. You don’t know everything,” Miss Benita replied playfully.

“It looks and sounds serious,” I said staring at her left arm and hand.

“It is.”

She went on to explain to me that lymphedema is a condition of localized fluid retention and tissue swelling caused by a compromised lymphatic system. In her case, the cause was complications from her cancer surgery.

“Can they treat it? What are they going to do?”

“I have an appointment with a lymphedema therapist later this week.”

She saw the lymphedema therapist. She was treated in the therapist’s office daily for two weeks of massage by hand of her arm, wrist, and hand. The massage therapy was followed with lymphedema therapy machine being delivered to our home. 

For the next twenty-eight months she would attach herself to the device for an hour a day to reduce the swelling in the arm.

And no, she didn’t have to do the therapy the remainder of her life. Five months before her death the brain tumor she developed had an unexpected positive side effect. A combination of massive amounts of steroids taken to reduce swelling in the brain also reduced swelling in the arm. Miss Benita was overjoyed not having to do the lymphedema therapy. 

The lymphedema was just the first of six addition afflictions my sweet wife experienced following her initial surgery.

Somehow, she maintained a Godly, optimistic attitude through it all. I can testify the Lord Jesus delivered her out of it all.

As her caregiver, I helped her stay on schedule, encouraged her, and picked up some of her former household responsibilities where she could go to the treatments without feeling guilty.

5.2 Deliverance for the Believer is in Jesus Christ

Part caring for a person with a chronic illness understands God’s deliverance for the Believer in Jesus Christ. The Bible does not flatter us with the false hope that goodness will secure us from trouble. Instead, the Bible warns us over and over to expect tribulation while we are in this body.

Our afflictions come from all directions and at any time. The challenges are many, but with Jesus Christ, we can face each day.

There is no promise the challenges, problems, illness, or disease will go away in this lifetime. However, the Lord will guide us through or lift us out of them.

5.3 Bible Verse

Psalm 34:19, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

5.4 What the Verse Means

We either have faced, are confronting, or will experience afflictions and trials. Suffering is an unchangeable fact.

There is good news. God’s mercies are more numerous than the afflictions and trials. God’s wisdom more wondrous than the sufferings and trials. God’s power is more miraculous than the hardships and trials. God will give us the grace we need to face them, and God will deliver us.

5.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father, I know the afflictions of the righteous are many.
  • Lord Jesus, I find some comfort in knowing hardships and trials are the norms.
  • I confess I don’t like the difficulties and trials but trust in You.
  • God our Father, I give You thanks for the promise of deliverance.

5.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. What new challenges is your loved one facing?
  2. How can you help them as they navigate the new challenges? 
  3. Have you asked God for the grace you need for the problems? Give God the glory for meeting your needs when he provides the needed grace. Acknowledge his presence and activity in your loved one and your lives. 

5.7 Takeaway

We face many challenges. With Jesus, we can face each day.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

How to Rest in God

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How to Rest in God

4.1 My Story

You may be like my late wife when she was battling Stage Four Melanoma cancer. She found herself very tired. She needed rest. 

My daily caregiving of my wife also left me weary. Like my wife, I needed rest.

The managing of my wife’s schedule required a skillset that even an air traffic controller would envy. First, she had the never ending visits to her primary medical team. The army of medical doctors included the primary care physician, surgical oncologist, managing oncologist, dermatologist, gastro endocrinologist, thyroid doctor, cardiologist (the heart must be healthy enough for the treatments) and radiologist. These physicians did the routine checks, prescribed the medications and treatments, performed biopsies and surgery as well as ordered the tests.

A group of medical technicians did the grunt work of tests and treatment procedures. In this category was blood work, PET scans, CAT scans, MRIs, days and weeks of radiation treatments and the lymphedema therapy.

At home, my wife did months of daily chemotherapy prescription medications, spent hours waiting for UPS or FedEx to deliver the refrigerated prescriptions from the exotic, super expensive pharmacy, did 24/7/365 lymphedema therapy at home with the machine that sounded like Darth Vader with a sleeve that looked like the nose of Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street.

Added to these challenges was managing her work schedule to maintain health insurance. These alone were enough to have her constantly exhausted. Unfortunately, more daily challenges were adding to her fatigue.

My wife’s eating schedule controlled her life. She had to take the prescription medications and then wait two hours to eat or eat and wait several hours before she could take the medications. The routine dictated the time of day when she woke and went to bed.

You get the picture and can relate. Like my wife, you get tired. Yes, the patient gets tired. The caregiver also gets worn down. The caregiver makes sure the loved one stays on schedule and task. 

As the caregiver, you need to rest. You need God.

4.2 Resting in the Lord

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness understands the need for resting in the Lord.

Caregiving for a loved one with a chronic illness can leave you tired and weary. I am talking about becoming bone tired. I am talking about the type of fatigue that vacations or even a sabbatical cannot cure.

4.3 Bible Verse

Exodus 33:14 (KJV), “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

4.4 What the Verse Means

The Lord is telling Moses that God will personally go with him. The Lord will give him rest. He is informing Moses that everything will ultimately be fine for him.

For the caregiver, this doesn’t mean that your loved one will be healed in this life. Final healing may not happen until heaven.

The application for the Believer in Christ is the Lord also personally goes with us, gives us rest, and promises to sustain us during our caregiving journey.

4.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father thank you for Your presence going with us.
  • Lord Jesus, thank you for the rest You give us.
  • God, we ask to experience Your rest again this day.
  • Let us use Sundays as the day of rest and worship.

4.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Remember a recent time you felt God’s presence. What were you doing? Recall how you felt his presence.
  2. Ask God to go with you and be with you today as you work and go about your caregiving responsibilities.
  3. Are you getting enough rest? Are you reading your Bible regularly? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you taking time to be still?

4.7 Takeaway

God personally goes with us both sustaining and provide the rest we need.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

You Have Permission to Cry

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You Have Permission to Cry

3.1 My Story

“I removed the tumor. The tests also showed it has spread to your wife’s lymph nodes. I removed thirty-four lymph nodes,” said the surgical oncologist.

I stared at the doctor. She was slowly becoming out of focus as I became teary-eyed. I knew the initial diagnosis of Stage 3 Melanoma Cancer was terrible. I knew the Melanoma was spreading into the lymph nodes was very bad. I knew this would kill my wife. Even though I was trying hard not to, I started sobbing.

The surgeon then said the words I needed to hear. She said, “It’s okay to cry.”

She took me in her arms, and I wept.

With her four simple words, I stopped pretending to be a macho man, let down my guard, and let the emotions of the moment take over. She had permitted me to cry.

Today wouldn’t be the last time sobbing would overcome me. I would cry many more times over the next thirty-four months. Even now over one year since my wife’s passing, the crying returns from time to time.

Remember, you have permission to cry.

The Bible tells of Jesus crying when Lazarus died. The Heavenly Father cares about our tears. Today’s Bible verse tells what God’s word says about crying.

3.2 Tears are Normal

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness realizes that tears are normal. Caring for a loved one will bring tears. It’s okay to cry. Even Jesus wept (John 11:35 KJV, “Jesus wept.”).

3.3 Bible Verse

Psalm 56:8-9 (KJV), “Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me.”

3.4 What the Verses Mean

Why would God keep tears in a bottle?

The idea behind the keeping of “tears in a bottle” is a remembrance. King David, the writer of these verses, is expressing a deep trust in God. He knows that God remembers his sorrow. He knows God remembers his tears.

King David also is sure the God will never forget about him. David is confident that God is on his side.

3.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father, thank you for making us where we can cry and experience the emotional release of the resulting tears. Teach me to understand and accept that my tears help me identify and help me deal with my feelings.
  • Lord Jesus, thank you for letting me know crying is okay.
  • Almighty God, it is comforting to know that You notice and keep track of my tears.
  • I turn the sorrow concerning the chronic illness of my loved one and my ability to care for them over to You. You are Yahweh-Rapha (God that heals).
  • I pray that my family and I would feel the freedom to cry out to You God and let the tears flow when the release is needed.
  • I pray that my family and friends would be supportive, loving, and understanding during the times the tears flow.
  • I pray that I would hold on to God during these times without questioning. Help me to accept God’s comfort.
  • Help me to have the confidence of King David, the author of these verses, and say with him – for God is for me.

3.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Have you given yourself and your loved ones permission to cry? Remember it’s okay to shed tears. Share with your family members that there are times when you cry. Sharing your weeping will permit them to do the same. There are times when they need to cry.
  2. Remember that God will not forget about your loved one. He does not forget about you or the other caregivers. Thank God for remembering you and not deserting you.
  3. What is the first concern you think of when it comes to caring for your loved one? Tell God what that concern is and remember, it’s okay to cry. Tears are normal.

3.7 Takeaway

God gives you permission to cry. He even collects your tears in a bottle.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

What’s With The Bloody Spot?

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler1 Comment

What’s With The Bloody Spot?

1.1 My Story

“What’s going on? What’s with the bloody spot?” I asked, pointing to the half-dollar sized stain on the lower left front of my wife Benita’s blouse.

My heart was aching. It looked terrible, scary. I knew this couldn’t be good.

Miss Benita gazed down toward the damp crimson. Her eyes looked tired, sad. She said, “It’s my mole. It started bleeding.”

I recalled the small mole. I had first noticed the growth over forty years earlier on our wedding night. I had playfully kidded her about it that night calling it her beauty mark. I found out that was the wrong thing to do. She was sensitive about the mole.

“What’s going on?” I asked. I could hear the fear, concern, and the demand for an answer in my voice.

She lifted her eyes meeting mine. I could see the tears forming. She smiled weakly and then said, “I think I must have scratched or irritated it, maybe at work. It started bleeding a couple of weeks ago. It scabbed over a couple of times, but when I thought it was healing, I would do something to cause the scab to bleed. I thought it would get better. Instead, I think it may be getting infected. It may be getting worse, and it’s not healing,” she said.

Melanoma Cancer, I thought.

“Has Dr. Z looked at it?”

She knows this is bad, I thought.

She shook her head, “No, not yet. I didn’t want to mess up our vacation to Colorado and your writer’s conference,” she answered with a forced smile and then lowered her eyes.

I took her hand, lovingly squeezed it, and hugged her holding her close. We were out for an afternoon of shopping in a local furniture store and enjoying each other’s company.

I nodded and then said, “Let’s go home where I can look at it.”

She stared at me, our eyes locking for a few seconds. It was as if she was saying I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to let it get this bad. She looked sad. Then she nodded.

She knows this is very bad, I thought.

We held hands, walked unhurriedly through the store, and to the car. I drove us home. There was a chilling silence in the car.

Once home, I led her to the bedroom and closed the door. She unbuttoned the blouse and removed a blood-soaked gauze bandage. The mole was oozing blood through a cracked dreadful-looking scab.

The mole had grown from the size of an eraser on a number 2 pencil to about the size of a quarter. It had changed from a light brown to a horrible black since I last remembered seeing it.

Melanoma Cancer, I again thought.

“Let’s call the dermatologist. I think that’s Melanoma Cancer,” I said with a seriousness that scared even me.

Miss Benita’s lips tightened, and eyes narrowed at hearing the words. She shook slightly and exhaled.

I asked, “Do you want me to call and get you an appointment, or do you prefer to call?”

She glanced at herself in the mirror, looking at the mole. “I’ll call the dermatologist. Dr. Z will refer me there,” she said.

The same day Miss Benita saw the dermatologist an in-office out-patient surgery was performed removing the mole and adjacent tissue. The physician had the test expedited. She called late that night with the biopsy’s results.

“I wrote down what the doctor told me. She said, ‘It’s malignant. It is a type of cancer called Melanoma, and it’s advanced stage 3. The depth of cancer determines the stage. It’s within one centimeter of being stage four.’ I know it’s terrible. I could hear the doctor’s quivering voice and her choking back tears. She told me this is serious and could kill me,” said a shaken Miss Benita.

The dermatologist acquired an appointment with a surgical oncologist. She said I needed to go to the office with my wife. Her finding us an appointment the next morning at 8 AM showed the urgency of the situation. My wife had surgery within a couple of days.

The surgery’s findings were terrible. It was Melanoma Cancer. The cancer had spread to the lymph nodes.

The oncological surgeon removed thirty-four lymph nodes. The physician told me the five-year survival rate for these findings was less than ten percent.

While my wife was still in recovery at the hospital, the surgeon told us some of the treatment options and that when not if, cancer recurred it would be restaged to Melanoma stage 4 and would be terminal. There was no cure. She said death was the ultimate destination of this journey barring God’s intervention or a new medical and pharmaceutical breakthrough.

I knew Melanoma stage 3 was too big for me to handle. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had already moved into a new role as a caregiver. I also realized the future my wife and I had planned together had suddenly changed. We would have no retirement years to share. Death would call on Miss Benita before then.

Our hopes and dreams vanished. Despair and hopelessness replaced them. I was overwhelmed, just thinking about the day to day struggles of caregiving. I faced the fear of the unknown.

So many questions flooded my mind. Would my wife survive? How long would she live? What would be the quality of her life and mine? How would we pay the medical bills? How much help was she going to need from me daily? How could I be brave and help her? How was this going to affect our day jobs?

I also was concerned for our three grown children and granddaughter. What I needed was hope.

The purpose of this book is to share the hope Christians have and the hope that my wife and I exercised through our faith in Jesus Christ. It shares my journey as a caregiver.

“Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” offers Biblical guidance and support helping you in your role as caregiver. It will help you connect with the perfect love, which casts out all fear, the love of Jesus Christ.

The day I noticed the bloody spot on Miss Benita’s blouse, my wife and I prayed together. We shared I love you and claimed, Psalm 56:3 (KJV), “What time I am afraid I will trust in thee” and 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your cares on the Lord for He careth for you.”

This story does not have an Earthly happily ever after ending. My wife lived 1001 days from the date of her first surgery. Then she died.

The faith we both had in Jesus Christ allowed us to face each day with hope.

Yes, even with our hope we had because of our Christian faith, we still were afraid. However, our trust in Jesus Christ carried us through the process, moving us from fear to a calmness that could only come from God. The fact that my wife was a Christian gave us a real-world spiritual happily ever after ending. She is in heaven today, and one day, since I am also a Christian, I will join her there.

1.2 It’s Okay to be Afraid

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness understands that fear of the unknown and fear of the journey you are beginning is normal. It’s a scary assignment. When you’re a caregiver, it’s okay to be afraid.

You also need to learn to accept the hope for the caregiver that’s available through Jesus Christ. The hope available through the love of Jesus Christ will help you face and handle the fears you will encounter in your journey of caregiving.

1.3 Bible Verse

1 John 4:18 King James Version of the Holy Bible (KJV), “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

1.4 What the Verse Means

John says that perfect love produces courage in the day of judgment. It casts out fear.

How does the perfect love of Jesus Christ accomplish casting out fear? Perfect love casts out fear because it produces a likeness to Christ.

There is another way in which love produces boldness. It does this by casting out fear. The entrance of perfect love through Jesus Christ is for fear a “cease and desist” letter. It is an order to quit.

When love arrives, it brings hand in hand with itself courage.

Boldness is the companion of love, only when love is perfect. Only professing Christians can experience this perfect love of God, a love that casts out fear.

As Believer’s in Jesus Christ, we can face the future, including being the caregiver of a loved one with a chronic illness, and even confront their death with the peace that only comes from Christ’s perfect love.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.

Appendix A explains how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ today.

See Appendix A at the back of this book for information on How to Become a Christian.

1.5 Pray Using Scripture

• Lord Jesus, thank You that there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.
• Heavenly Father help me to keep my mind focused on You and Your love for me.
• God, help me remove any concerns I may have as I look to the future by turning them over to You.
• Provide Your grace to meet the challenges I encounter daily. I cannot travel this journey alone but can with You.
• Help me to know without any doubt that as a Believer in Jesus Christ, my ultimate future is in Heaven.
• Help my loved one to trust in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior if they are not a Christian.
• If my loved one is not a Christian, prepare their heart to hear the Gospel and to accept Christ as Savior.

1.6 Responding to God’s Hope

1. List two examples of times you have been afraid (Psalm 56:3 and 1 Peter 5:7).

2. Remember two times you have trusted in God since the diagnosis of your loved one’s chronic illness (Psalm 56:3 and 1 Peter 5:7).

3. List two cares or concerns you are facing. Cast (or give) those cares to the Lord, remembering that “He careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7).

1.7 Takeaway

Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness understands that fear of the unknown and fear of the journey is normal.

If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.

Caregiving: Biblical Insights From a Caregiver’s Journey

Posted in Bible, Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie KeplerLeave a comment

Chronic Illness

When you learn your loved one has a chronic illness, your hopes and dreams may be erased, replaced by feelings of hopelessness. You may feel overwhelmed or even afraid as you look ahead at the day-to-day struggles of caregiving.

Biblical Guidance and Support

Caregiving: Biblical Insights From a Caregiver’s Journey offers Biblical guidance and support helping persons connect with the perfect love which casts out all fear, the love of Jesus Christ.

Scripture, Explanation, Application, Prayer, and with a Takeaway

Each chapter contains Scripture from the Holy Bible, explanation of the verse, application of the Truth to daily living, a prayer using the verse, three directed questions for journaling, and a takeaway.

In the days ahead I will be sharing my story of caring for my late wife along with twenty-three Biblical insights and takeaways learned while being her caregiver.

Photo Source: Photo of my late wife Benita Kepler and my cat Lacey taken by the author.

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  found in the far left column of the blog.

How to Become a Christian

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler8 Comments

My Story

Being a good person doesn’t get you to heaven. Being saved or born-again does. Here’s my story of how I accepted Jesus Christ and became a Christian.

On July 11, 1977, my life changed. If you look up that date in history, you will find nothing historically significant happened on that Sunday. It was a remarkable day for me. Sunday, July 11, 1977, was the watershed event in my life.

While attending First Baptist Church of Lakewood in Tacoma, Washington, I noticed a group of men that seemed to have what I was missing. I attended a Bible study with them.

Here I found that God has given us an essential manual for life. The manual is the Bible. God has the answers to the problems and emptiness we may face. I found out I was here for a purpose, and not by accident. I learned Jesus loves me and desires to have a personal relationship with me. However, sin separated me from Him.

I Realized I Had a Sin Problem

The Bible says in Romans 3:23 (KJV), “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

But no one is perfect! We have all sinned and therefore cannot save ourselves by just living a good life.

Why not?

The Bible says in Romans 6:23 (KJV), “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

I Learned God Gives Us a Promise

The Bible says in John 3:16 (KJV), “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.”

I Learned That God Made a Provision for Me

The Bible says in Romans 10:9-10, 13 (KJV), “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

I Prayed to Accept the Gift of Eternal Life Through Jesus

I prayed, “Jesus, I know that I am a sinner. I believe that You died for my sins and rose from the grave so that I might have eternal life in Heaven with You. I willingly repent of my sins and ask you to come into my heart and life. Take control of my words, thoughts, and actions. I place all of my trust in You for my salvation. I accept You as my Lord and Savior, and this free gift of eternal life. Amen.”

Since then my life has not been perfect. It’s been far from it. I’ve messed up from time to time, sometimes failing miserably in my decisions and choices. However, I have had direction and purpose in my life. I know where I am headed. I have the Bible to give me the principles for daily living. I am never alone. I have had real peace for the last 40 plus years.

How about you? Have you ever been saved?

You Can Do Like I Did

Romans 10:9-10, 13 tells us, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. … For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

Why Not Pray This Simple Prayer and Accept Jesus Christ Today?

Photo Source: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  found in the far left column of the blog.

Finish Strong

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23 Finish Strong

23.1 My Story

The date was April 11, 2018. It was a Wednesday. I had awoken at the usual time of 5 AM. I stepped into the master bedroom where my wife was resting. I took her hand and held it. I leaned over the hospital bed and kissed her forehead first. I said I love you. She squeezed my hand, and her lips moved mouthing I love you. I softly kissed her lips. I could feel their warmth and her returning the kiss.

We were blessed with a critical care registered nurse in our home twenty-four hours a day. I looked at the nurse and said I was going to Starbucks for a couple of hours to have morning coffee and write. I would be back home by 8 AM. I reminded her that two of my adult children and my wife’s two sisters were in the house if needed. I would only be ten to fifteen minutes away. I made sure the nurse had my contact info.

I then read Psalm 23 to my wife, Miss Benita, prayed with her, and feed her a container of flavored shaved ice before I stole another kiss and then headed to Starbucks. As I drove to the coffeehouse, my heart was heavy. Death was near.

At 7:30 AM I had a telephone call from the hospice supervising nurse. She was at my house checking on the situation. The supervisor had arrived at the shift change to speak to the overnight nurse and brief the incoming nurse. She told me she felt death was imminent. She encouraged me to get home to say any final goodbyes.

Miss Benita and I had already said our goodbyes. I never left her side without saying a final farewell, just in case she died when I wasn’t there. I wanted to be present with her, holding her hand when the time came for her to depart to heaven, so I hastily retreated to my house.

When I arrived, I could see a marked change in my wife. In only two hours she had moved closer to death’s doorway.

No, she didn’t die on April 11. Benita Kepler passed away the next afternoon at 3:54 pm. I wrote that day, “She is in Jesus’ loving arms in heaven. She was surrounded by her husband, children, and sisters when she went to be with Jesus in heaven.”

23.2 Hang On

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness understands the value of hanging on to God.

You will get to the point in caregiving that only with God’s help can you make it through the next few minutes or day. You are exhausted mentally, physically, and spiritually

All you can do is grab hold of and hang on to God. Holding on to God allows you to finish strong.

23.3 Bible Verse

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (KJV), “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;”

23.4 What the Verse Means

The best commentary on the Bible is the Bible itself. Here are Biblical principles that explain the verses. These seven principles give the Biblical alternative of how to hang on when you feel like you’re at the end of your rope.

Principle One: I must not forget God loves me. Don’t lose heart!

2 Corinthians 4:1(KJV), “Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;”

1 Corinthians 15:10(KJV), “But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.”

It’s not who we are. It’s whose we are!

Remember our performance does not give us our worth. God’s grace provides us with the power to start over.

Romans 8:37 (KJV), “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.”

Principle Two: I must keep a clear conscience.

2 Corinthians 4:2 (KJV), “But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.”

We must have integrity. We must have character.

Principle Three: It is not about me.

2 Corinthians 4:5 (KJV), “For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus’ sake.”

Your ego will only take you so far.

Principle Four: I cannot do it all.

2 Corinthians 4:7 (KJV), “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.”

We must pace ourselves. Life is a journey, not a sprint.

Principle Five: Love, love, love.

2 Corinthians 4:15 (KJV), “For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.”

Principle Six: Take time to refresh, renew, and revive.

2 Corinthians 4:16 (KJV), “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.”

Principle Seven: I must keep my eye on the goal.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (KJV), “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

Remember, you cannot do your best at caregiving if you do not face your troubles and hang on until you reach your goal.

23.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father help me to cling to you.
  • Lord Jesus, help me to ask your help daily as I keep on keeping on.
  • God Almighty help my eyes to look on the unseen.

23.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Do you remember God loves you?
  2. Is your conscience clear? Maybe you feel bitter about having to care for your loved ones. If so, ask God’s forgiveness.
  3. Are you seeking God’s help and guidance? Ask God for his help.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  found in the far left column of the blog.

Compassion

Posted in Blog, Caregiver, Caregiving, Jim Kepler, Jimmie A. Kepler, Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Jimmie Kepler6 Comments

22 Compassion

22.1 My Story

I thought I knew how to minister to hurting families and person’s facing death. My hubris said I was an expert. After all, I was a seminary trained minister and an ordained minister and an ordained deacon. I had made thousands of hospital visits, nursing home visits, and been with numerous persons and their families when death visited. I also had cared for my mother-in-law, and both my parents being the last to see each alive.

It wasn’t until I was holding my wife’s hand, praying as she took her last breath and hearing the hospice registered nurse pronounce the time of death was is 3:54 PM, April 12, 2018, did I understand the sacrifice in time, emotion, and love that a family member makes in caring for someone they love more than they love themselves.

During the time of my wife’s cancer journey, I had with her permission started a Facebook secret group. The group’s description was, “A place for those that unconditionally love and care about Benita as she battles neuroendocrine carcinoma and melanoma cancers. A family of friends, coworkers, and prayer warriors.”

As I posted daily updates on her condition, how the group members could pray for her and a short daily devotional thought to encourage both my wife and those praying for her something magical and mystical happened. My wife Benita and I began ministering to those who were praying and ministering to her.

I was surprised when I received the first request for permission to share my daily devotion. The reader asked if it would be okay to copy and send it to a friend that was battling cancer. I had several cousins fighting cancer. A couple of them told me how they looked forward to my posting of the devotion every day. One cousin committed that the short devotional post ministered to her because she knew we were living what she was experiencing. The was a real, first-person experience and prayer instead of just words on a page.

It was with her words that I realized how God was using the bed in our life for good to others. My wife Benita would write and send cards to other up until about ten days before she died. Benita would share encouragement and how God was sustaining her during her cancer experience. She was able to comfort others in spite of her tribulation.

22.2 Developing Compassion for Others

Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness is developing compassion for others. Caring for a person with a long-lasting disease affects people in different ways. Depression may come to reside with some people. Other persons can become bitter. Withdrawal from friends and family can occur with some. You will find yourself tired, more tired than you thought you could ever become.

For the Believer in Jesus Christ, the chronic illness often mellows our heart to make us more compassionate. The persistent disease allows us empathy. It often becomes the point of rapport where we can care for and minister to not only our loved one but others now walking down the pathway we have recently or are currently helping our loved navigate.

22.3 Today’s Bible Verses

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (KJV), “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

22.4 What the Verses Mean

The verses are a reminder of what a wonderful God we have. He is the one who comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials.

Why does he do this? He does this where we can help others.

When family, friends, or coworkers are troubled, needing our support, sympathy, and encouragement, we can pass on to them the help and comfort God has given us.

22.5 Pray Using Scripture

  • Heavenly Father, I praise you for how wonderful you are.
  • I acknowledge you are the Father of the Lord Jesus.
  • I proclaim you as the one who wonderfully comforts and strengthens me in hardships and trials.
  • Thank you for teaching me how to soothe others by your example to me where I can give sympathy and encouragement.

22.6 Responding to God’s Hope

  1. Who do you know that could use a word of support today? 
  2. How can you prove that supportive word? A card, a phone call, an email or text?
  3. Name two things you learned in your journey as a caregiver that help you comfort others.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

This blog post is from the forthcoming book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D.

To receive a notification when “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Kepler, Ed.D. is available and to get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up”  found in the far left column of the blog.