After the crowds were dismissed
And all started going away
His disciples gathered ‘round Him
Listening to the few words He had to say.
I’m going up on the mountain
I need alone time to pray and meditate.
Get onboard your boat and cross the lake
Before it gets too late.
While on the mountain top, eve changed to the night
While the Father and Jesus were all alone
And the disciples’ boat moved toward the other shore
His followers heard the tempest as it began to groan.
Now the wind and waves
Increased all through the night
And as a black fear gripped the men
The wondered would they survive to the morning light.
Sometimes between 3 and 6 A.M.
Jesus came to them walking on the sea.
But they feared he was but a ghost
They were terrified and wished that they could flee.
And immediately Jesus spoke to them
His words cutting through the violent storm
It’s me, take heart, don’t be afraid.
His words were full of love and very warm.
But Peter wasn’t so sure it was Jesus.
His grave doubt quivered in his voice
He yelled. “Let me walk on the water out to you.”
Was his verbalized faithless choice.
With kindness in His voice
“Come,” the Master said.
And Peter walked on the water towards Him
Without fear of drowning or becoming dead
But then He took His eyes off Jesus.
He looked at the wind all around.
And suddenly he began to sink.
Peter feared he would drown.
Lord Jesus save me!
Was his faithful cry
Jesus reached out taking his hand
“Why doubt me? You’re not going to die.”
Then they got into the boat
And the disciples began to sob.
For the wind and waves and tempest had stopped.
They worshipped and declared, “You are the Son of God!”
“You Are The Son of God!” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler
is a retelling of the biblical story found in Matthew 14:22-33
where “Jesus Walks on the Water.”
It was written in April 2020.
Please enjoy my reading of the poem “Going Out to Eat.” Going Out to Eat was written in May 2013 in Estes Park, Colorado, and originally published in vox poetica Magazine on January 27, 2014. Annmarie Lockhart is the founder of vox poetica. Nathan Gunter is the current managing editor of vox poetica. I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I did writing it.
Going Out to Eat
Sweetheart, do you have a preference for where we go out to eat?
…..No. Anywhere you want is ok with me, dear.
Great. There’s a McDonald’s. They have a senior coffee discount.
…..Oh, but look! There’s a Subway. I think that would be better.
OK. Subway it is. I’ll let you off at the door and then park the car.
Do you see anything on the menu you prefer?
…..No. Anything you want is OK with me, dear. We can share a foot-long sub.
Great. How about a foot-long Italian meatball sub?
…..Oh, but the Black Forest ham … I think that would be better.
OK. Make it a foot-long Black Forest ham on wheat bread, please.
…..Oh, get whatever you want, dear, but white bread …
Ma’am, can you change that to white bread, please. And American cheese.
…..Dear, pepper jack … I think that would be better.
OK, make it pepper jack cheese.
We’d like lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions, green peppers, banana peppers, jalapenos …
…..Anything you want, is OK with me, dear, but maybe not the tomatoes and pickles.
Ma’am, hold the tomatoes and pickles, please.
…..What if we skipped all the peppers and just got black olives?
OK. Make it black olives and mayonnaise instead of green peppers, banana peppers, jalapenos.
…..Maybe you should go with light mayo. Remember your waistline.
Yes, dear. Ma’am, we’ll take light mayo instead, please.
“Sir, do you want to make that a combo with chips and drink?”
Sure, that sounds–
…..Dear, we’ve got water and apple slices in the car. No need to splurge, but …
OK. Just the sub, not the combo.
That was a very good lunch.
…..Yes. Thank you for taking me out to eat. Aren’t you glad I let you have whatever you wanted?
And I recalled the words of the Apostle Paul, …..Love is patient, love is kind.
Jimmie Aaron Kepler
Written in Estes Park, Colorado
May 2013
“Going Out to Eat” was originally published in vox poetic in print and electronic form. The electronic version can be accessed at: Kepler, Jimmie A. “Going Out to Eat,” vox poetica, January 27, 2014, Retrieved January 27, 2014, from http://voxpoetica.com/eat/.
When I read the first draft of this poem to my late wife, I was shocked at how visibly upset it made her.
“You’re making fun of me and telling the whole world!” she said.
I was taken aback by her comment.
“I don’t understand,” I said with honesty.
“That’s what I did at the Subway Restaurant at Amarillo,” she said. She didn’t smile. She only lowered her head.
It was apparent the memory was fresh on her mind.
“It’s a composite of so many of the older couples we see at restaurants. It seems the wife frequently tells the husband to order what he wants. As he orders, she tweaks the order to what she wanted,” I said.
Again, she did not smile. She rolled her eyes.
“It’s not about you,” I said attempting to reassure her.
“It’s about me. Everyone will know it’s about me.”
“But it isn’t about you. Even if it were, who do you know that reads poetry?”
“So you admit you wrote it about me.”
“Sweetie, it’s a composite of so many of the older couples we see at restaurants,” I said trying to reassure her.
“And you’re going to submit it for publication?”
“Only with your permission. I don’t want it to upset you.”
“So it’s my fault if you don’t submit the poem?”
This time I rolled my eyes.
She glared at me for a minute and then sat silent for another five minutes. Finally, she started laughing and said, “I guess if I’m honest wives do that to their husbands. Go ahead and submit your silly poem. No one publishes or reads poetry these days.”
I submitted it. It was accepted for publication. And no, it wasn’t about Miss Benita. It really is a composite of so many of the older couples I’ve seen at restaurants. It seems the wife frequently tells the husband to order what he wants. As he orders, she tweaks the order to what she wanted and then hands him a coupon to use.
Please enjoy my reading of the poem “Urban Pigeons.” Urban Pigeons was written in August 2009 and originally published in vox poetica Magazine on August 26, 2012. Annmarie Lockhart is the founder of vox poetica. Nathan Gunter is the current managing editor of vox poetica. I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I did writing it.
Urban Pigeons
White clouds
Fill the Columbia blue sky,
Like hundreds of cotton balls.
The brilliance
Of the summer sun,
Reflected even brighter
Off of the clouds.
The clouds remain
Suspended in the sky
With little movement.
A flock of pigeons,
Land on an adjacent building.
They stand on the edge
Of the ten-story structure,
Peering downward
Looking
For some crumb or morsel of food.
They also eye the sky
And the roof,
Of a neighboring building.
The birds are watchful
As a red hawk
Is perched waiting,
Waiting,
Waiting
For one of the pigeons
To let its guard down
And become his next meal.
The sounds of cars,
Trucks
And an occasional motorcycle
Fill the air
As they travel
From their point of origin
To their destination
Using the freeway
That passes
Through the building’s shadow.
A panhandler
On a nearby corner
Looks up at the sky
Shielding her eyes
From the bright sun.
She looks to see
What the airborne commotion is about.
The sun temporarily blinds her
With its brilliance
And then she sees
Dozens of feathers
Slowly descending to the ground.
Gene Everywhere took me back to the three-years period of time I was my 90 years-old father’s caregiver after my mother died. So much of what the author wrote tugged at the memories and experience I had with my father.
The prose is spectacular.
Talya’s prose is spectacular. Her picture painting and showing the story transport you into her home. You smell the smell, hear the sounds, and feel the genuine love she developed for her at times crotchety father-in-law. Without giving any spoilers, you’ll experience a beautiful story unfold, have your heartstrings tugged and be flooded by memories if you ever cared for a parent or parent in law. Again, the books’ prose is exceptional. I highly recommend the book.
They tell me I’m in a high-risk group to die.
I’m not so brave.
I admit I’m very afraid.
The world as I knew it has come to an end.
And why?
A virus so small
With the naked eye
it can’t be seen
And people so selfish …
They’d rather do what they want.
Their actions could cause me to die.
Mankind’s choices have to make God cry.
And I Trust in the Lord with all my heart,
I do not lean on my own understanding.
In all my ways I try to acknowledge God,
And I know the Lord God will make straight my paths.
Shipping and Handling Podcast with Jennifer Udden and Bridget Smith,
Episode 69 (February 27, 2020), Nice :), Two literary agents talk books, fandom, writing, and beyond. Hosts: Bridget Smith of Dunham Literary Inc. & Jennifer Udden of Barry Goldblatt Literary. In this episode, Bridget and Jen do an all-questions-all-the-time deep dive into their Tumblr inbox. Among other things they discuss are sex in Young Adult fiction, the relative value of an MFA, and disclosure of advances. http://shippingandhandling.libsyn.com/episode-69-nice
Writers, Ink with J.D. Barker and J. Thorn. It is a podcast about the business of writing.
Episode 14, Becoming a Successful Author as a Stay-at-Home Mom with Mercedes Yardley. Mercedes Yardley knows how to become a successful author as a stay-at-home mom. With a husband working and a child requiring special needs, Yardley took up writing as an emotional outlet, and her thrilling style soon became recognized. She won the Bram Stoker Award in 2015 for her psychological horror novella, Little Dead Red, and wrote the Stabby Award-winning Apocalyptic Montessa and Nuclear Lulu: A Tale of Atomic Love. She is also a member of the Horror Writers Association and co-chair of the Las Vegas HWA Chapter. Mercedes currently lives in Las Vegas with her family and rescue animals. https://writersinkpodcast.com/becoming-a-successful-author-as-a-stay-at-home-mom-with-mercedes-yardley/
Audio Books I’m Listening To:
I came currently listening to “It” by Stephen King. I listened to the opening credits, dedication, Part 1: The Shadow Before, Chapter 1: After the Flood (1957), Chapter 2: After the Festival (1984) and am currently in Chapter 3: Six Phone Calls. Chapter 3 is 2 hours thirty-six minutes, and 27 seconds long.
Editing a collection of my poems to be published later this year by Poetry and Prayer Press. It will be my second published book of poetry.
I have a science fiction book that I’m still working on writing the first draft.
I have two books that were published last fall for which I am working on a marketing plan. They came out at the same time I had cataract surgery and tested positive for A&B flu. There has been no marketing of the books or book launches as of yet.
You may be like my late wife was when she was battling Stage Four Melanoma cancer. She found herself very tired. She needed rest. My daily caregiving also left me weary. Like my wife, I needed rest.
The managing of my wife’s schedule took a skillset even an air traffic controller would envy. First, she had the neverending visits to her primary medical team. The army of medical doctors was the primary care physician, the surgical oncologist, managing oncologist, dermatologist, gastro endocrinologist, thyroid doctor, cardiologist (the heart must be healthy enough for the treatments) and radiologist medical doctor. They did the routine checks, prescribed the medications and treatments, performed biopsies and surgery as well as ordering the tests.
A group of medical technicians did the grunt work of tests and treatment procedures. In this category was blood work, PET scans, CAT scans, MRIs, days and weeks of radiation treatments and the lymphedema therapy.
At home, my wife did months of daily chemotherapy prescription medications, spent hours waiting for UPS or FedEx to deliver the refrigerated prescriptions from the exotic, super expensive pharmacy, did 24/7/365 lymphedema therapy at home with the machine that sounded like Darth Vader with a sleeve that looked like the nose of Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street.
Added to these challenges was managing her work schedule to maintain health insurance. These alone were enough to have her constantly exhausted. Unfortunately, more daily challenges were adding to her fatigue.
My wife’s eating schedule controlled her life. She had to take the prescription meds and wait two hours to eat or eat and wait several hours before she could take the medications. The routine dictated the time of day when she woke and went to bed.
You get the picture and can relate. Like my wife, you get tired. Yes, the patient gets tired. The caregiver also gets worn down. The caregiver makes sure the loved on stays on schedule and task. As the caregiver, you need to rest. You need God.
4.2 Resting in the Lord
Part of learning to care for a person with a chronic illness understands the need for resting in the Lord.
Caregiving for a loved one with a chronic illness can leave you tired and weary. I am talking about becoming bone tired. I am talking about the type of fatigue that vacations or even a sabbatical cannot cure.
4.3 Bible Verse
Exodus 33:14 (KJV), “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
4.4 What the Verse Means
The Lord is telling Moses that God will personally go with him. The Lord will give him rest. He is informing Moses that everything will ultimately be fine for him.
For the caregiver, this doesn’t mean that your loved one will be healed in this life. Final healing may not happen until heaven.
The application for the Believer in Christ is the Lord also personally goes with us, gives us rest, and promises to sustain us during our caregiving journey.
4.5 Pray Using Scripture
Heavenly Father thank you for your presence going with us.
Lord Jesus, thank you for the rest you give us.
God, we ask to experience your rest again this day.
Let us use Sundays as the day of rest and worship.
4.6 Responding to God’s Hope
Remember a recent time you felt God’s presence. What were you doing? Recall how you felt his presence.
Ask God to go with you and be with you today as you work and go about your caregiving responsibilities.
Are you getting enough rest? Are you reading your Bible regularly? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you taking time to be still?
This blog is from the book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. The book is available in paperback or eBook format at Caregiving: Biblical Insights From a Caregiver’s Journey
To get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.
“I removed the tumor. The tests also showed it has spread to her lymph nodes. I removed thirty-four of them,” said the surgical oncologist.
I stared at her. She was slowly becoming out of focus as I became teary-eyed. I knew the initial diagnosis of Stage 3 Melanoma Cancer was terrible. I knew the Melanoma spreading into the lymph nodes was very bad. I knew this would kill my wife. Even though I was trying hard not to, I started sobbing.
The surgeon then said the words I needed to hear. She said, “It’s okay to cry.” She took me in her arms, and I wept.
With her four simple words, I stopped pretending to be a macho man, let down my guard, and let the emotions of the moment take over. Today wouldn’t be the last time sobbing would overcome me. I would cry many more times over the next thirty-four months. Even now at one year since my wife’s passing, the crying returns from time to time.
Remember, it’s okay to cry.
The Bible tells of Jesus crying when Lazarus died. The Heavenly Father cares about our tears. Today’s Bible verse tells what God’s word says about crying.
3.2 Tears are Normal
When you’re a caregiver part of accepting the hope available through Jesus Christ is realizing that tears are normal. Daily living with a chronic illness or caring for a loved one with a persistent disease or terminal illness will bring tears. It’s okay to cry. Even Jesus wept (John 11:35 KJV, “Jesus wept.”).
3.3 Bible Verse
Psalm 56:8-9 (KJV), “Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me.”
3.4 What the Verses Mean
Why would God keep tears in a bottle? The idea behind the keeping of “tears in a bottle” is a remembrance. King David, the writer of these verses, is expressing a deep trust in God. He knows that God remembers his sorrow. He knows God remembers his tears. King David also is sure the God will never forget about him. David is confident that God is on his side.
3.5 Pray Using Scripture
Heavenly Father, thank you for making us where we can cry and experience the emotional release of the resulting tears. Teach me to understand and accept that my tears help me identify and help me deal with my feelings.
Lord Jesus, thank you for letting me know crying is okay.
Almighty God, it is comforting to know that you notice and keep track of my tears.
I turn the sorrow concerning the chronic illness of my loved one and my ability to care for them over to Yahweh-Rapha (God that heals).
I pray that my family and I would feel the freedom to cry out to you God and let the tears flow when the release is needed.
I pray that my family and friends would be supportive, loving, and understanding during the times the tears flow.
I pray I would hold on to God during these times without questioning and accept God’s comfort.
Help me to have the confidence of King David, the author of these verses, and say with him – for God is for me.
3.6 Responding to God’s Hope
Have you given yourself and your loved ones permission to cry? Remember it’s okay to cry. Share with your family members that there are times when you cry. Your sharing will permit them to shed tears. There are times when they need to cry.
Remember that God will not forget about your loved one. He does not forget about you or the other caregivers. Thank God for remembering you and not forgetting you.
What is the first concern you think of when it comes to caring for your loved one? Tell God what that concern is and remember, it’s okay to cry. Tears are normal.
This blog is from the book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. The book is available in paperback or eBook format at Caregiving: Biblical Insights From a Caregiver’s Journey
To get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.
One of the first thoughts I had when my wife received the diagnosis that she had stage three Melanoma was how am I going to care for her and love her unconditionally until she dies.
I knew the Melanoma was going to kill her unless God intervened. I wondered if she would follow the doctor’s orders. Would my wife let me help her? How would she react? Could I handle being her caregiver?
In time all the questions were answered. The solutions didn’t happen in one day. There was some give and take.
My spouse had to have a heart to heart with me along the way, which included telling me to back off and give her some space as I was smothering her with kindness and care.
She didn’t need me reacting as if every little event she encountered was a life or death situation. I learned what she needed was for me to be there. She desired my calm, steady presence.
A simple example was when I had a ball game on the television, and she came into the room, I would change channels on the TV to her favorite HGTV program. I stayed in the room with her instead of going to the bedroom and continuing the ballgame. If I were cleaning, doing other housework, or even reading, I would stop, give her my attention, and be with her.
In her last days of hospice care, she told me how much my just being there meant to her. She said I could get the house spotless after she was in heaven, but until then, she needed the ministry of my presence. She needed me to be courageous as I spent time with her.
2.2 How to Be Courageous
Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness understands how to be courageous the Lord.
Caring for a person with a chronic illness is a scary daily challenge for both the person with the disease, their family, and you as the caregiver. Through Jesus Christ, we can be strong and courageous.
How can we do this?
We cannot do this in our strength. Daily the Lord Jesus our God goes with the Christian. We need to remember, He goes with us. We need the Lord to strengthen us.
Today’s Scripture tells us the Lord will not leave or forsake the Believer in Jesus Christ.
2.3 Bible Verse
Deuteronomy 31:6 (KJV), “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”
2.4 What the Verse Means
Because Christians have God with them, they should be of good courage. The courage comes from their confident assurance in God, which faith gives. This faith in Christ allows us to face each day bravely knowing we shall have the ultimate victory through Him.
2.5 Pray Using Scripture
Heavenly Father, please help me and my family to continue to be courageous in the face of this illness.
Holy Spirit, I ask for Your comfort. Help me to not fear or be in dread of the challenges I face as a caregiver. Help me not to grow weary.
Thank You for letting me know it is the Lord our God who goes with me and that He will not leave me or forsake me.
I pray my family and loved ones’ would confess faith in Jesus Christ where they too can experience the comfort available to Christians.
2.6 Responding to God’s Hope
What are two areas that you are fearful of failing in as you care for your loved one? Name them.
Take the two items you identified in question one. Admit your fears to God. Ask God for the faith you need to face fear courageously.
Realize that God has entrusted you already with your loved one’s care. He’s put them under your supervision; God will equip you for the daily challenges you face. Thank God for the confidence He has placed in you, and for the way, He helps you daily as you care for your loved one.
2.7 Takeaway
Part of caring for a person with a chronic illness understands how to rely on the Lord.
If you are not a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior is a prerequisite to obtaining God’s peace.
Click HERE to find out how to become a Christian. You can trust Jesus Christ and become a Christian now.
This blog is from the book, “Caregiving: Biblical Insights from a Caregiver’s Journey” by Jimmie Aaron Kepler, Ed.D. The book is available in paperback or eBook format at Caregiving: Biblical Insights From a Caregiver’s Journey
To get occasional updates on the writing of Jimmie Aaron Kepler please complete the “Email Sign-up” found in the far left column of the blog.
